Today, I thought about going to visit an old girlfriend of mine with hopes of getting a little head. Unfortunately, I didn't know it would be head lice I'd get. FML

Today, I kissed my gorgeous new boyfriend for the first time. I ran my hands through his hair; a multitude of dandruff rained out and five lice crawled onto my hand. FML

Sharing is caring

Today, my boyfriend and I are so close that we share everything. This now includes his head lice. Thanks, dude. FML

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

Today, this guy I like let me wear his favorite baseball hat that he never takes off. I returned it to him later, only to find out I have lice. FML

Today, my girlfriend told me she wanted to take a break. At least she gave me a parting gift. Lice. FML

Today, I found out my best friend has a massive head lice infestation. It wasn't until after I'd used her hairbrush to brush my hair that I figured it out. FML

Today, for the first time in my life, I have lice. The dog we rescued infested our house. No amount of showering has made me feel clean, and my bald husband just doesn't understand why I'm so bothered. FML

Today, I realized that the most romantic thing that my boyfriend and I have done in the last month is comb lice out of each other's hair. FML

Today, I finally went on a date with my crush. When he kissed me goodnight, it made me think of a dying slug. FML