Today, after fifth block, I decided to go for a little walk. Apparently so did my boyfriend and best friend. I found them together under the stairs with her head in his crotch. She said she was looking for her contacts. His pants were pulled down. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and my best friend making out. She claimed he was just tasting her lipstick. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend were getting at it, and then my parents came home. I heard them and we scrambled to get our clothes on. My dad came into the room and found me wearing her pants inside out with her thong around my legs. FML
Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML
Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML
Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML
Today, I went to see a movie with my girlfriend and a few others. Mid-way through, I noticed my girlfriend giving a hand-job to my best friend. I couldn't believe my eyes, and I confronted them. He claimed he had been asleep, she claimed she was mopping up a spill, and I'm now single again. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex while his parents were out. They came home early, ran upstairs, and knocked on the door. Scrambling to find our clothes, we gave up and just hid under the blankets. They barged in, drunk and laughing, and tried ripping the covers off. FML
Today, I walked in on my best friend with his hand down my girlfriend's pants and her moaning for him to "keep going." She had the brass balls to claim she had a "tummy ache" and that he was just rubbing her stomach better. I may be a total dumbass, but I'm not THAT stupid. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend of 2 years and my best friend of 10 years making out in my bedroom. I stared and when they noticed me, my boyfriend didn’t even bat an eye and suggested we have a threesome. My best friend immediately agreed. FML
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and sister fooling around in the shower together. Supposedly, she was sleepwalking, and he was trying to wake her up. FML
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Top comments
amrik 11
you should have took his dick and shoved it up her nose!
Iknoweverything 29
This is the first time I DIDN'T vote YDI. Not that any of you care, but I actually feel genuinely terrible for this girl. And I'm going to make it all about me by making sure all of you know how I feel.
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Comments (279)
RobynNichole1 3
tht sucks lol
Rocker909 0
Maybe if OP sucked more, she wouldn't be in this situation.
CaptainWrathe 0
Pun intended #1?
shelbygordon44 7
literally. damn antiflood D:
twirlingqueen4u 0
ha
dasfro 2
hey lets not ASSume now!
instnt1nfction 17
I'm disappointed in your joke, tsk tsk tsk...
mexmelli13 0
fail.
mexmelli13 0
fail.
Psychotic_EGG 0
woulda been better as "let's not ASS-U-ME now"
ChickenInMyKitch 4
she now needs to ASSimilate into a better group of friends....
hellogoodbye1996 6
when you assume you make an ass out of u and me
msloquita 0
really now??? why play stupid... it's quite obvious
EatnBeef 7
and the winners of the failures of the year award go to........( opens card) comment number 5 and everyone else on it!!!!!!! congratulations you guys are failures.
somewheresomeone 0
doesn't that make you a loser too??
somewheresomeone 0
doesn't that make you a loser too??
brad5150 4
just... give up
BWill9014 4
I can't believe you all tried to carry number 5's fail so far lol...
mightymart 5
wait.. that was a joke??
kona314 1
The Failure of the Year award went to Justin Bieber! He's been setting a record. This is his 5th year straight!
Lennsik 4
What's sad is this an FML about ********. They really missed the point by a few hairs.
RMC128 4
I agree, maybe her contact was on the eye of his penis
amrik 11
you should have took his dick and shoved it up her nose!
Mr_Darkside 5
amen
lidemocr 0
then said "what are you looking at, dicknose?"
BAMF519 0
man u said it not me but good one
Shadow4i5 3
hahahahaha
sns_fml 0
I remember watching a **** movies like this!
shaniecerb 0
#111 made me laugh..thats hella funny
sheethapins 13
Porns have happy endings.
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
111, you made my night :)
maltron21 0
to your profile question it means for the win
ichikibobivopula 0
what's that called? nasal sex?
nerdchic 5
wow
ultrabroski 0
Oops, I dropped my contacts! Found them!
angel948 9
thumbs up for the yes dance reference :D
StudMuffinXD 0
That's great it just made my day!
bamxitsxandreaa 8
LETS DO THE FORK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL! :D ...yes dance ftw(:
Takador 3
Those darn contacts…
Iknoweverything 29
This is the first time I DIDN'T vote YDI. Not that any of you care, but I actually feel genuinely terrible for this girl. And I'm going to make it all about me by making sure all of you know how I feel.
Sirin_fml 47
My Sarcas'o'Metre just exploded.
annabanananaa11 0
22, you might be the stupidest person EVER. congrats.
benderbot19 0
way to get sarcasm 22
Jenna_Tell_Yuh 0
are bender and fry arguing? :(
benderbot19 0
nah. I was just jokinz.
sxe_beast 11
Lol, the person who was sarcastic has the user name of "iknoweverything' and the moron's user name is "showmehowtolive". Maybe Iknoweverything can showthemhowtolive?!
folfg0 12
Sirin! You havent been on in a LONG time! :O
Sirin_fml 47
Boo.
michaelm1290 23
She was simply using her head because losing a contact can lead to a sticky situation
lolylol_fml 5
hahahahaha yes
mommyhearts2boys 0
lol u made me laugh
RyanMacVey 17
:S harsh
SwaggerMelon 6
YDI for making the first sentence rhyme.
Shayandhearts 2
I didn't notice that till I read your comment. XD that made me laugh.
CateXOX 0
I'm not sure what accent you have that can possibly make "block" and "walk" rhyme.
grumpybarista 0
I'm pretty sure it's an English-speaking accent.
mk58 31
You don't need an accent to make them rhyme.
green_tetris 2
:0
jbsington 8
unless you pronounce walk as it's pronounced... it rhymes
johnnybagodonuts 2
"block"...."walk" yea they definitely don't rhyme, nice try though
hilariexcore 0
The "l" is silent in walk. You don't say "wall-k." It definitely rhymes..
tjarvis4338 0
the l is definitely not silent in walk. you don't go for a wak.
livin_plur 0
ha well that's the American accent for you we actually do pronounce it wak haha I didn't know other people didn't... accents take the fun out of everything haha
Dimercurio 1
Walk and block don't rhyme. Learn how to speak English.
sxe_beast 11
Lets put this argument to rest. Its pronounced WAWK you ******* morons. It is not pronounced WALL-K. bit.ly/lk7x70 bit.ly/knGz3z bit.ly/jfVxEs - In the definition of this, the pronunciation is spelt "wôk". The circumflex above the o is indicative of the AH sound as in "caught". Listen to the audio pronunciations bit.ly/ckiuJf Now listen to this audio pronunciation. LIKE OHEMGEE THEY RHYME! bit.ly/mUHgRF If you look at this online rhyming dictionary under the word block you will see "walk". bit.ly/l78xDz You will come to find in this one MULTIPLE words containing the word "walk" in addition to the actual word "walk". bit.ly/2ZMQf Doing a reverse search of walk I found the word "block" listed. So yes you morons "walk" rhymes with "block". If anyone needs to learn Engrish it is those of you who are too illiterate to realize that these one syllable words rhyme.
alliem199521 10
HOW STUPID ARE U PEOPLE WALK AND BLOCK DONT ******* RYHME. That should be ur fml.. 'Today i realized walk and block DONT rhyme' WHERE DID U PEOPLE LEARN TO SPEAK?