Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today." I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Vapor rub smells amazing. At least when you can't breath .
cutycat136 28
At least you didn't smell bad without a shower. Still creepy though. Hope you feel better OP.
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Comments (61)
usmc_sean 8
Coulda been worse, imagine if he licked you instead of smelled you. Now that's awful.
Bongo_69 8
Don't get in his white van. Even if he has cough drops.
HeWhoIsNameless 9
VapoRub is like catnip to old men. (said the old man in the room)
usaidwhat82 21
That's pretty creepy, but feel better soon OP!
randomnessdares 3
either that is a bad thing or a really good thing
tburkey17 9
Mmmm vapor rub... That's so hot!
Dick_diamond 22
Ahhh.. That damn "come hither" smell of Vapor Rub
abbeyp27 12
Hope you feel better !!
Guesty2000 6
just be glad he didn't say "you smell"
BrotherPhil 35
Not that surprising really. For all they try to cover it up with a mixture of civet bum, whale fat, and chemical flowers, fragrans feminae is usually what men prefer to smell. Generally not _too_ stale, though.