Today, after days of being too sick to leave my house, I went to get some medicine. While picking out cough drops, an old man leaned over and said, "You smell quite delicious today." I haven't showered and the only "perfume" I'm wearing is VapoRub. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I showered with my favorite soaps, and I used my favorite perfumes and lotions too. I layered my scents to get a nice fruity, girly scent, which helps boosts my confidence. My husband walked in the bedroom when I was done and said that it smelled like cheesy garlic bread. FML
Today, I was walking into class when the guy i like walked in and said "Gross it smells like grandma in here. What, did someone bathe in their perfume today?" I was the only girl in the room and I just bought new perfume. I thought I smelled good, apparently I didn't. FML
Today, I went over to my friend’s house while she was sick. In order to show me how bad her sense of smell was, she took a handful of VapoRub and rubbed it all over and inside of my nose then said, “Can you smell that? I can’t.” Yes, I can. But I can also feel my nostrils burning. FML
Today, while going to the bathroom, I noticed a smell lingering. It smelled good so I kept sniffing the air. And then it hit me. My poop! My poop smelled good and I'd been sniffing and enjoying it. FML
Today, I discovered I'm allergic to the new perfume I bought and now I smell like a hospital. FML
Today, I was cuddling with the guy I'm dating and said, "You smell good." His response, "You don't." FML
Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML
Today, I had to walk through the women's perfume section to get to my normal aftershave. A woman was trying out a perfume, which she squirted on herself and me. You can imagine the afternoon I had to endure after I got home to my wife and she could smell "some slut's scent" all over me. FML
Today, I realized that I'd run out of deodorant. On top of that, I was late to work so I had to run, making me all sweaty and smelly. To cover it up, I used the air-freshener in the toilet at work. Everyone recognized the "Lemon Tree" scent and now all of my colleagues think I'm a cheap bastard. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML
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Top comments
devildog562 33
Vapor rub smells amazing. At least when you can't breath .
cutycat136 28
At least you didn't smell bad without a shower. Still creepy though. Hope you feel better OP.
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Comments (61)
ouijacorn 9
Mm...smells like Fisherman's Friends.
dblogic 19
Ewwwww!!! Those are the most god-awful lozenges I've ever tried!!! I had forgotten about those...or blocked out the traumatic memory of my dad making me try Fisherman's Friend, LOL, yuck!!!
xswitch74 17
Show him how delicious pepper spray tastes
Jeaux 3
maybe he was trying to be nice. I randomly compliment people who look like they're having a bad day too.
Snaxia 12
You went out to buy medicine but I thought you said you were too sick too go out.
False_Stupidity 42
You may want to re-read the first bit of the FML. Pay particular attention to the word "after", it's important.
Snaxia 12
Ah, thanks for the correction, I did read it wrong.
MDoremis 38
That's super creepy. Also: I really don't understand why every comment that doesn't say "At least you didn't smell bad," have thumbs down. Yes, that's a plus, but the incident was creepy not an "Oops, I forgot to shower this week, but this dude thought I smelled good so it's A-okay!"
Jack_Me_Off_Jerk 5
pussy smells great
shiffizzle 13
You made an old man's day
ShadowGenius 12
Or he was just a sarcastic genius!
LastResort318 14
I laughed at this because I just pictured a stereotypical old man whispering that.
schererAgony 5
maybe he caught s whiff of kitty cat...