Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he stopped in the middle of the street and took a dump. I looked around furtively but saw nobody, so I just kept walking. I stepped in it on the way back home. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when, as usual, he did his business in the grass and stepped off to the side. I squatted and reached for the bag when my dog spotted another canine. He lunged forward in excitement and I landed face forward in the feces. FML
Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML
Today, today while walking my dog in a different part of town, a man ran screaming out of his house, and threw a plastic bag at me. It was dog poop. It was the first time I'd ever walked in front of his house with my dog. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when he decided to poop in the middle of a crosswalk during heavy traffic. We have very strict laws (and fines) so I frantically tried to pick it up while cars waited, honking and watching me struggle like I was in the worst street performance ever. FML
Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML
Today, I was walking my dog but every time he looked like he was about to "go", he became uninterested with the spot and kept walking. I, following behind, tripped over a bump in the sidewalk and face planted. My dog then finally urinated, all over my aching body. FML
Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
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Top comments
UmmOkThen 31
You guys can have something in common now.
EatUrGreens 20
Hope you had enough bags to clean the mess lol and thankfully you got away too :)
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Comments (65)
devildog562 33
They say owners take on traits of their dogs .
Wizardo 34
Legend says Devil Dog still gets his sayings mixed up to this day, he was never the same. Not after the accident...
TeasinDaNoobs 16
Never heard that before... Sorry #1
eddyinfinity 21
This comment is excellent. Why negative votes?
bleedingglitter 24
Well that was a .... Shitty situation.
UmmOkThen 31
You guys can have something in common now.
nonsensical 26
yeah, i laughed way too hard at this fml. i mean im sure the situation was really scary in the moment, but im just imagining that peaceful face dogs put when they poop, with their bodies all arched and their tale straight up--i can even imagine him kicking the grass afterwards, proudly leaving his scent on the ground. I hope the 2 men arguing got a good woof of that smell.
EatUrGreens 20
Hope you had enough bags to clean the mess lol and thankfully you got away too :)
Polynomial 28
So, their argueing was at the same pitch as the brown note?
davidpropert 32
27 steps below b flat?
davidpropert 32
I guess some of you have never seen South Park
aperron96 18
Wait did he pull the knife on you for having your dog shit near him??
wildgenius 13
He pulled out a knife because of the argument.
groovycrazyjoe 18
no the dog said it was bullshitt what they was arguing about lol
firelegend 17
Since when do dogs talk
jentrynicole 20
Pets. Causing awkward situations to become more awkward since the dawn of time.
ImZacko 15
Well you know what they say when you gotta go...
countryb_cth 38
You shit in the middle of an argument?
Dalboz 26
I would have left. The dog would eventually come back to you. and I doubt any man will stab a dog
Smooth_Criminal 24
You should watch Animal Cops.
PizzaElHutt 7
If that man happens to be a sketchy tweaker there is a much higher chance.
KuronoEru 26
Hopefully your dog saved you? Or did you run away leaving your dog behind?
RedPillSucks 33
the dogs behind was taking a shit