Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
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Top comments
somepartsareme 0
Fake, you couldn't have balls, you broke up with her over the phone.
effed_over 0
That's why you don't do it over the phone.
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Comments (327)
Anteezy 7
you shouldn't break up over the phone ever.
Zion0153 4
I love all the people who are saying YDI for breaking up over the phone. I don't care if you break up over the phone, in person, text, e-mail ect. ect. the person is probably still going to be pissed at you. From the sound of it, she was a crazy bitch anyways, so attempting the break up over the phone was probably the best thing anyways, though it still backfired. Honestly, she's lucky he gave her that, most people just text or e-mail or whatever nowadays. So from the sounds of it, it was well founded to give her a phone call to break up. So FYL OP, I would press charges if I were you, it sounds like she belongs in a mental hospital. and to all you saying YDI, maybe when you get out of high school you'll realize there isn't any 'special code' when it comes to relationships. ANYTHING goes, so maybe you should get your head straight now? In high school, people will give your ex the cold shoulder when they find out he/she broke up over the phone (Well, if your a guy, if your a girl, your friends will side with you regardless). In real life, that doesn't happen (Unless you work together, which just makes it awkward lol).
0darkfire0 0
if she did that to him for breaking up over the phone, it could have been much worse if he had done it in person. FYL OP.
jacqiezhannack 0
are you trying to be joe jonas? ydi for trying to break up over tha phone.
vixenish 0
You don't break up with your gf of 2 years over the phone!! You deserved a paintball in your face!
Starjell 0
Go girl go don't every break up with a girl over the phone
azure8787 0
Haha I take it you don't have a peephole in your door? Always check if you can man.
pearls 0
You've been going out with her for two years and you broke up with her over the phone, and you're expecting sympathy for this one?
LMFAOsabrina 0
This girl sounds AMAZING. YDI for breaking up with her over the phone. My ex did that to me, its really pathetic x_x
Gloria0416 0
If you went out with her for 2 years, have the decency to break up in person. I guess it could have been worse, you could have emailed or text messaged it.