Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I got a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three-foot range. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was doing target practice with my new paintball pistol. One of the bullets missed, and hit my new neighbor's house. I went up to the door to apologize, not realizing I was still holding the paintball gun. My ex-soldier neighbor thought I was robbing him and put me in a chokehold. FML
Today, me and my girlfriend went paintballing. I made sure we were on the same team, so I could protect her and be manly. The first time she got shot was by me, I shot her finger. It broke. FML
Today, I played paintball with a bunch of friends. By the end of the day, my girlfriend and I were the only people left on the field. She shot me mercilessly, and I screamed like a little girl. 30 people watched, 4 people filmed. FML
Today, my psycho ex showed up at my doorstep to beg me to take her back, so I pulled my gun on her. I just found out she's pressing charges. FML
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Today, I went to a paintball match with my family and the family of my brother's girlfriend. A few minutes into, my brother's girlfriend's dad snuck up on me, unloaded into me from behind, and snarled, "That's for knocking my daughter up." He got the wrong guy. My back is killing me. FML
Today, I went paintballing with my girlfriend and her family. Her dad ended up shooting me, and I doubled over in pain. I thought that was it, until he stepped back and shot me several more times in the stomach. "Just double-tapping," he smirked. More like quadruple-tapping. FML
Today, my psycho ex girlfriend got up in my face after I dumped her. She said I'm going to pay and that one day, when I think I'm safe and happy, my joy will turn to ash in my mouth. When I pointed out she'd just ripped off a Game of Thrones quote, she kneed me in the balls. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me by taping a breakup note to my doorstep and ding-dong-ditching me. FML
Today, I went paint-balling with my girlfriend. As we drove she was scared about getting shot a lot, especially in the head. I reassured her that with all the protective gear it was unlikely. First round, within a minute, she gets shot 3 times in the back of the head. FML
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Top comments
somepartsareme 0
Fake, you couldn't have balls, you broke up with her over the phone.
effed_over 0
That's why you don't do it over the phone.
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Comments (327)
icanfloat12 0
****** bitch. file a police report
JuniorPwnz 0
Pwned
Snowboarder2010 0
YDI, Shouldn't of broke up over the phone then. Even if you were scared to do it face to face, it's still the right thing to do and the mature way to do it. If she hurt you by doing it face to face, then press charges. But sense we don't know the reason he broke up with her, we can't really say that she's a bitch for what she did. If you can't handle the tears and being completely upset after you dump her, don't date then. Girls are bound to do that, because heartbreak ******* hurts. If you can't handle it the outcome, don't date or man up.
lmfaoincanada 9
Woot! Finally a comment that makes sense! Everyone that thinks this woman is a psycho bitch is just mean. He dated her for two years then broke up with her over the phone?! She deserved to at least get it to her face, in which case she probably wouldnt have shot him in the balls with a paintgun. Sorry OP but with the info you gave us, YDI.
antihaterrr 0
to all the pol who r sayin YDI it's not his fault his gfs a bitch
Micaela36 0
oh man u deserve it !! 2 years? u waisted her time she probably was hoping of marrying u. ur a dick for breaking up over the phone. YDI
valmont_fml 0
First: it's not really appropriate overall to break up with someone over the phone. That being said: To all the people who think he deserves it: since when is the appropriate reaction to a breakup (over the phone or otherwise) physical violence? Especially since it was clearly premeditated ("Okay, I'm pissed. I'm gonna grab my paintball gun, walk/drive/etc. over to his house, and shoot him in the balls.") Seriously, think of it this way: Suppose a woman breaks up with a man over the phone. He is really upset, so he goes to her house, and shoots her in the breasts with a paintball gun. If the OP deserves this, then so does the woman in the above example. It's a spiteful, cruel, illegal escalation of violence/action.
YoUr_ObSeSsIoN 0
Oh shit o.o ummmmm ouch. I would move -.-
yourmom246 0
dude ****** sew that bitch for assualt with a weapon, them she'll feel sorry , **** don't let her get away with that shit, **** there's alot of people in this world i ****** hate !!!
brookeemmily 0
YDI for breaking up over the phone, especially after two years. However, she is a tad immature for reacting that way. The fault is on both parties
zaphilia 0
A tad immature? What happens if she knifes him? She becomes a tad rude?
tictong 0
cute. and u were pwned! LOL.