Today, after being constipated a few days, I used the restroom at a bar. It took a loooong time before I got out. As I went to exit the bar, only the employees were still there, waiting for me because they had closed 30 minutes ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML
Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML
Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML
Today, I was stuck in a stiflingly hot port-a-potty for 30 minutes with the worst bowel issues ever due to food poisoning. To make things worse, the maintenance guy came two minutes in to drain the thing and had to wait outside till I was done, muttering angrily at me as I took the humiliating walk of shame to my car. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, after being chronically constipated for the better part of a week, I finally have the urge to poop. Too bad I'm 30 minutes early to work and locked out of the building. FML
Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML
Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
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Top comments
WCARlover 35
Just own it. Walk out that bathroom, hold your head high and say "wouldn't go in there if I were you"...but I'd probably find another bar to go to from now on ;)
aGMAELSTR0M 10
I suppose it could be worse. Instead of just 30 extra minutes at a bar you could've missed your whole high school graduation
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Comments (45)
Thegoofygoober 15
well hopefully you know the cause to your fecal issue
upsetpastry 10
"Today, at the bar I work at, we had to stay for an extra half hour while some jackass was ********. FML" Two way street
childproofpizza 19
*Shituation
kaitlyn520 13
Maybe if that happens again you could try Miralax?? It really helps when you're having a hard time using the restroom. I'm sure the employees have had to stay a little before, hopefully they were somewhat understanding of the situation.(:
andrmac 25
Why when you are not well going out to a bar?? Am I the only one that would stay home when bathroom sick?? Alcohol is not going to help you at all would better if you stay home and eat some beans and drink water.