Today, I clogged the only toilet at work. Thinking I could escape and blame someone else, I opened the door, only to see a line of people waiting outside. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I took a dump at work. When I went to flush the toilet, it clogged and began to overflow. I left the bathroom as it was and as I walked out, my boss came in. FML
Today, at work, the only toilet in the building was so clogged that it was overflowing. We didn't have a plunger, so basically the only way to stop it was to try and reach in and remove the blockage. I was nominated to do it. FML
Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML
Today, someone had explosive diarrhea in my bathroom at work and didn't clean it up. I'm the only woman in the office and I have only one toilet with no window or fan, so I have to leave the door open to air it out. It's right beside the canteen. Everyone will think it was me. FML
Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML
Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML
Today, I was at a gas station and I went to the bathroom. Thinking some was already in the bathroom, I waited for ten minutes while people lined up behind me only to find out that it was empty. FML
Today, I had to take an urgent dump at work. I noticed too late there was no toilet paper left, so I had to risk doing a quick "pants around the knees" shuffle to the next stall. I locked eyes with the window cleaner at the same time I heard someone enter from behind me. FML
Today, I was so desperate to pee that I used the only bathroom in the convenience store I was in, which was “Employees Only.” Well, the door got stuck and I had to get an employee to let me out. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
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Top comments
toaster123 11
I feel sorry for the lined up people...
beaglegal 42
Guess you're shit out of luck then!
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Comments (73)
toaster123 11
I feel sorry for the lined up people...
spignona84 11
I would have come out acting like someone else clogged it before you
Pat_Tricksta 13
That's what you get for trying to put YOUR shit on other people.
solarei 4
It's not to feel sorry for the line of people but more to laugh at the disgusting filth that is the OP. Who the hell hides their bathroom shame? Stand up and walk proud or slunk in shame. OP deserves it for trying yo pin it on someone else.
naajster 14
'Today, I waited in line for 30 minutes to use the loo. When my turn finally came, it was clogged. FML...'
strawberrywine22 30
Lol
AlwaysWatching 27
Here come the puns
hanner12 13
Doo doo doo doo
naajster 14
what a shitty situation yes, I said it.
greeneyebeauty9 28
...aaand you'll be getting thumbed down for saying it.
greeneyebeauty9 28
heeeyyy last time I said that I got thumbed down. eh, karma.
stupidface15 16
i bet it was a sticky situation
cryssycakesx3 23
it isn't #31, it stinks, at most.
kfamazing 10
I feel like the "here come the puns" comments are worse than the actual pun comments
mmyoung979 14
"Here comes the pun, doo doo doo doo."
beaglegal 42
Guess you're shit out of luck then!
tman1985 9
never thought I'd see the day that a shit joke gets upvotes, impressive.
SpreadTHEKILLER 14
#4 Opportunity: Taken
AnOriginalName 19
#45, during the second and fourth weeks of the month, the FML community up-votes shitty puns. At all other times, shitty puns are down-voted.
Jbell1527 3
Say it was already clogged.
Vintage_Cola 29
Run, OP. Just run.
zandalee 20
Actually this is a good idea. Look terrified, scream, don't make eye contact and break into a sprint OP! That will confuse them.
incoherentrmblr 22
Yes, he's running at the speed of smell...
michaeljc7 3
Almost as bad as clogging a toilet at your girlfriends house...
Nohman 14
Pretty much the reason why I never took a crap at the girlfriends' house during a four year relationship.
zandalee 20
She probably thought you were a Ken doll. That's actually pretty sad.
greeneyebeauty9 28
As embarrassing as it is, there's really not much to worry about. Blame it on the person before you & say you really had to use the restroom so you tried to unclog it yourself? Eh, I got nothin'. just accept your fate.
dawood_k 27
Oh shit!!! You must of felt like shit!!! The long walk of shame...!
greeneyebeauty9 28
you must *HAVE.. must have felt like shit.
Pat_Tricksta 13
Zombie apocalypse is gonna start if we don't use correct grammar!
drmisin 5
Bring on the zombies!!!!
CTMPandemonium 16
#9 (V) ;,,; (V) Your joke is bad, and you should feel bad.
rybaby23 8
Wow if you think you've seen pissed off people before OP you are in for a real surprise! You better go hide because there is a army full of angry people coming your way! Good luck! Next time do a courtesy flush!
cumberbunny 17
Your profile pic is amazing #10.