Today, I had to use a public bathroom. I have problems going when other people are there, so I waited until everyone left. Two girls noticed I was taking a long time, and started giggling and throwing notes under the door asking if I was alive. This continued for half an hour. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had no choice but to use a public bathroom. I have issues going when there are others in the stalls, and apparently another person did as well. We both sat there in silence, waiting stubbornly for the other to give up and leave so we could go. It’s been 20 minutes. FML
Today, I was feeling sick and I farted really loud in the school's girls bathroom. Some boys overheard from the hall and called everyone over. I came out only to find about 20 guys staring anxiously at the bathroom's door to see who I was. FML
Today, I had some pretty bad stomach pain, so I went to the bathroom. After a few minutes, two girls walked in, taking stalls next to me. That's when my farts began to get very large and explosive. Not only did they break into laughter, they waited for me to come out. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. I really had to use the bathroom, but decided to wait. After about an hour, I went to the restroom. I pissed for so long that when I walked out her family all started clapping. FML
Today, I was using the restroom at school. What I thought was going to be just peeing turned into a humongous fart that echoed in the toilet bowl. Already embarrassed, I opened the door to leave. Two girls, who obviously heard, were giggling and saying, “It’s always the fat bitches.” FML
Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML
Today, I was waiting in line to use the bathroom. I complained to the guy next to me about how long the lady was taking. I kept making jokes about it, but he never seemed to laugh. Finally, the door opened and out came a lady in a wheelchair. The guy next to me was her husband. FML
Today, I really had to take a shit. My coworker had gone on lunch break and I was alone in the shop. There were no customers, so to the can I went. Cue a long series of loud wet farts and splashes, followed by the flush. I emerged to see the horrified face of some old lady and her grandson who'd heard everything. FML
Today, I was at a new shopping mall. After an hour, I desperately needed to use the bathroom. Spotting one, I ran inside, locked myself in a cubicle and relieved myself. The toilet paper was out so I knocked on the cubicle beside me to ask for some. A lady's voice answered. She needed some too. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
Should have used the notes to wipe and pass back under the door. No? Too graphic?
Awahso 25
You can tell their lives are great when they have that much time to waste doing that...
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Comments (96)
Izabushel 65
Did the notes help?
Lebush 27
I guess they could have. You didn't need to worry about running out of toilet paper.
plum_lovin 28
I probably would have yelled at them to gtfo...
besosforme 26
I don't know about you, but that is NOT someplace I'd want a paper cut.
rangermedic77 5
I would've wiped my ass with one and passed it back
lmngrl889 14
they sound really immature!
rawr_ily96 24
I don't see why #92 got thumbed down. She's right. Those girls need to grow up.
BjgUsername 12
Forget about it op there the ones with the problem
BjgUsername 12
Their*
VannahJane 17
They're*
Migole 36
Seriously? EDIT: Damn it, you beat me to it. But still...Seriously?? :D
doodlecloud 27
Nope, guess again...third times a charm I guess?
potethue 3
They're*
BjgUsername 12
I panicked...sorry guys
lambda_fml 40
Fixing others typo seems to be the latest rage on FML.
VannahJane 17
I don't think fixing typos is new... There have always been grammar natzis
ironichalibut 24
69- Yeah, I know I've always been around. Really though, if you want your idea to be perceived and understood fully, and without question, impeccable grammar can't hurt.
cmac86 24
*Nazi
AFloppyWetWhale 6
O mi gawd u gies hav da werst grammer ive evr sene?
HotsyTotsy 8
*Nazis
sumbum95 15
Who cares what they think you're in there to do your business!
PenguinBitch 44
Where's her office again? Stall #7?
sumbum95 15
It took me a while to figure out what you meant until I re-read my comment lol!
pugpuggy 21
They should mind they're own business.
Awahso 25
You can tell their lives are great when they have that much time to waste doing that...
kut17 11
Should have used the notes to wipe and pass back under the door. No? Too graphic?
license2chill 5
I had the similar thought, but OP has problem going if there are other people around, so that won't happen..
lambda_fml 40
She should get a License to Chill like the person above me, that might help her.
Kal3Y 12
Sounds like those two girls need to get a life..
machiavelli2 5
I'd say, they sound like the ones who decided to wait for someone to come out after a bout for a laugh. They really need to find better places to hang out.
Nicole1225 14
That was really mean. It was none of their business. Look at it this way, FTheirL because they have nothing better to do than to torment people.
ICastillo 25
That's messed up don't people understand that bathroom time is a place of tranquility and peace.
kut17 11
I don't think peace and tranquility are possible in a public bathroom. It's usually a massacre full of tormented guts and people with poor hygienic habits.
ICastillo 25
What I'm saying is, its messed up when you can't take a shit in peace.
kut17 11
This is true.
ICastillo 25
You know what I hate kut. Is when I go to take a poo and I forget my phone. It's like being stranded on a little porcelain island.
kut17 11
I don't know how the old timers did it.
ICastillo 25
I honestly don't know. Maybe counting tiles...I'll just go ahead and say reading the shampoo ingredients and what not..
zango1 15
Shampoo works as a last resort but those of us that had been in the scouts always had a magazine within reach.
ICastillo 25
What about newspapers zango? They babe been around for a long time.
ICastillo 25
The babe word shouldn't be there. I don't even know how the hell that happened.
lambda_fml 40
That looks like an iphone autocorrect. Did you mean 'have' by any chance?
ICastillo 25
Haha yes my good man that is the word that should be there. And yup I do have an iphone.
zango1 15
ICastillo, the trouble with newspapers is the print comes off and they can be a bit big to manhandle as well. A magazine folded in half along it's spine rests perfectly on most human thighs.
samikitty961 8
At least they weren't making racehorse noises at you.
briighteyez 9
No sh*t? That sucks!
superrocket19 17
What dafuq would posses you to say this?
eksyneet 23
too bad the double meaning of this comment is probably unintended..