Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
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Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
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Comments (290)
ironheart98 14
sad that you need lube
Countryboy223 9
if their age is on the clock their to young for the ****.
sugarbear0727 19
Its your own fault for 1. forcing him, and 2. obviously not being attractive enough. Forcing someone into sex when they don't want it is rape. And usually if you havent had sex for any number of months, you're naturally lubricated when the opportunity comes up.
Xcrunner_24 0
Maybe he didn't want to sleep with you due to a horrible personality, or maybe he thought you would really suck in bed. Whatever the reason, no means no, not "lets try next time". Has to be two (or more) willing parties.
BloodRedViola 12
277- If it is part of the health course, and depending on the school probably, they send something home so the parents can say if they want their child in the class room when sex ed is being talked about.
dylan501 3
Like trying to push a marshmallow Through a key hole
subiedude08 17
And thanks for that image
lifeforce 2
I can relate. My first experience I was 16 with my first boyfriend of 11 months. We were in love, yadda yadda yadda. Anyway, we really didn't know what we were doing at all since there was no sex-ed taught in our schools. The only health information we got was in 5th grade and it talked about periods and menstrual cycles, etc. Never anything about sex. So at first he tried to put his flaccid penis in my ****** which kinda helped turn him on since he was freaked out by this new experience. Though he couldn't get it in in missionary style since I think I was too tight. I then got on top and that was my first experience with sex. It hurt and I just found out why I burned for so long... I'm allergic to semen. LOL Yes it's true. It is a true allergy. :P So yeah, if I have unprotected sex, I always burn badly for at least 3 hours if he doesn't pull out. BTW I'm 29 now.
WhyMe6495 16
Obviously he wasn't taught sex ed. Though i don't get how he didn't even know that much, at my school we got sex ed in 5th grade though not the detailed version until high school
x_the_lancer_x 13
My school gave my class sex Ed in the 6th grade...