Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
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Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
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Comments (290)
yungbri 0
That sucks lol your probably fugly.. Haha it only took me and my ex a month lol
taracrane1 7
What did I just read
PRD 0
Wow how old are you guys again?
Chazy2010 8
did he say "bite the pillow, im going in dry"?
VasiMae 0
Wow you must be young? Not that I'm not, but never pressure someone into having sex with you. Once they're ready, they'll know "how to have sex". This happened to me my first time. Only I didnt pressure him. I was on my period so I didn't let him finger me or anything to get me really wet..
TheMystery13 13
Jesus Christ, what kind of ****** are you dating?! Listen sweetie, if he cooks, cleans, dresses well, is sensitive to your feelings, and refuses to screw you, HE IS GAY!!
SDog_TM 4
feel sorry for u luv, i really do. Obviously dude s a virgin. should definitely get more organized, for the future reference.
buzzbee21 3
If a guys penis remains flaccid anywhere near a woman's ******, he's either got erectile dysfunction or he's gay
ben10jammin 3
Instincts???? **** now think later
unluckyones 2
Lubricant? Are you dried up or something?