Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
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Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
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Comments (301)
zom_fml 10
Say 'Hey, did someone drink my juice? It's just that I'd swigged some earlier and I'm really phlegmy at the moment...' She won't do it again :P
switchgurl20 17
Why should he have to drink her backwash? That's nasty. Its a total difference to be kissing someone-cos u like the person and stuff- and basically drinking their spit in your juice, that's nasty! Op i agree with you, i wouldn't drink it either. Even my mother or brothers' cup i cant drink out of...
switchgurl20 17
And maybe the op's comfort food included the juice? Like steak, fries and juice? Or a sandwich and juice? Not just juice only?
heyred 11
Since when is juice "comfort food"?
Rosehart 10
aw sorry, but you know, you get the best resistance against germs from germs
madz123j 0
just drink it... your not going to die.
jayAZ 3
she probably has just sucked him off too!
onthetoilet 3
koodies
amiemariej 0
everyone is writing about how bad they feel since you have a germ fear (which I agree) but damn, being one or not the bitch shouldn't drink out of the container if it isn't hers let alone drinking juice that doesn't belong to her boyfriend either, what a effin bitch, I'm sorry OP. make her buy you a new juice or at least get cash
lalalovebiancaa 0
& that's when you make either her gross ass or your roommate buy you some new juice & a hamburger also!