Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML
Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML
Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML
Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML
Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, so I made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informed me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML
Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML
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Top comments
SpankyMcThrust 6
I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.
thehoneybadger 10
Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.
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Comments (301)
RinaVampire31 18
Disrespectful much?
VirgilLovesYou 0
Get over it. you're skin has billions of germs and bacteria crawling on it. a few more won't hurt.
cdawg145236 1
dude don't be a baby back BITCH
Complaining 13
Would a straw make it better?
geeksaresexy 18
I'm not a germaphobe but I would still kill her.. How rude! You don't go into another persons house and help yourself to what's in their fridge/ cupboards! You definitely don't drink stuff straight from the bottle when it's not yours!
GodofCarnage 10
So that means you never kiss a girl if you don't even want to drink after a girl.
amochizuki 4
Your not afraid of germs, your either gay and you think girls have cooties or your afraid that drinking it will make you a lesbian. Either way, it's time to come out of the closet.
Pazu_fml 10
Dude, that's not okay. Confront the girlfriend (or your roommate if you're not comfortable with talking to her directly). You don't go into someone else's house and drink things straight from the jug. That aside, it's generally fine if you just clean the spout. I guess it depends on how severe your germophobia is, though. Sucks to be you, OP.
MrJesus_fml 0
yeah don't be a little bitch about it
ryno101 3
harden the **** up.