Today, after a stressful series of events, I went to the beach to unwind. I sat on the sand, breathed in deeply and closed my eyes, trying to find some sort of inner peace. Then a seagull shat on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I overcame my debilitating seasickness long enough to have a shower and take a breath of fresh air on the cruise ship balcony. Then as a reward, a passing seagull shat on my head. FML
Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML
Today, I drove to the beach for an hour to relax before returning to the intense workload of midterms. A kid walking by threw a cracker near me and I was instantly attacked by a group of seagulls. FML
Today, I was out riding and a seagull pissed on me. It got in my mouth. FML
Today, after pulling an all-nighter, I fell asleep at the beach. My friends took the opportunity to bury me in the sand, place food all around me, and wait for a flock of hungry seagulls to attack me. To top it off, they taped it all. FML
Today, I found out the hard way what it feels like to have a seagull poo on your face while cycling. FML
Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML
Today, at the beach, a seagull conveyed its opinion of my cigarette by taking a dump on it, putting it out. Seems they have anti-tobacco sniper seagulls now. FML
Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML
Today, I went for a swim in the sea. It was early and I was the only one in the water. I swam out far, then my tummy rumbled big time. Next thing I knew, I'd shat my shorts. It went everywhere. I had to scoop the poop out with my hand and wash it off whilst swimming back to shore. I had to shower afterwards. FML
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Top comments
kings1fan 6
I hear it's good luck!
Streeet_hayley 6
At least you're on a beach and can clean it off..
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Comments (117)
texas_redneck88 10
Shit happens
CoryX 9
At least it wasn't an albatross?
lovelife9 12
This is what you do to get rid of stress. 1. Make a fist 2. Squeeze as hard as you can 3. Let go 4. Take your other hand and squeeze where your ring finger has hit your palm 5. I hope this helped
yadisingh 5
It didn't.
khatyangelz 0
What?
bizarre_ftw 22
Woah!!! Creepy!!! Cool :D
Daralea 21
It just made me want to punch something.
loserman67 36
Life can really **** with all of us somedays. You finally find a time to bring your troubled mind to rest, only to be shit upon. And seagull shit is some nasty shit stemming from all the french fries, pizza, ice cream, candy, garbage, fish, popcorn and god knows what else they eat from the boardwalk and sand. Just imagine that congolmeration of what is usually rancid, spoiled food brewing in your inestines. The resulting shit would be pretty foul (or fowl if you're looking for the double entendre). And life decided to dump this toxic brew on you.... As you reflect, look back on the puppies you may have kicked, kitties you may have squashed, etc... and repent, or the next load of shit could be a pelican!
rattusrattus 19
Ham sandwiches. The feathery little buggers love those. You can't go to a beach with a ham sandwich without being mobbed. They don't like my dad very much, he tends to charge them in his wheelchair whilst uttering a war-cry... yes it is embarressing to watch.
TheJester12 15
Headshot
M3loni 0
Seagull poop is very cleansing... Actually, not really. That's just gross. I got a laugh out of it though. :)
rattusrattus 19
They always leave the seagulls out of these beachy-relaxation-meditation-videoes, don't they? Seriously, unless you go down with a crossbow and kill all the seagulls, or make them all wear nappies (daipers), its a risk you have to take for your beach meditation session.
PenisJam 2
Someone is having a shitty day
blackychan21 0
Haha poopdick.
SharonMarie 2
it's good luck!