Today, while using a urinal in a very busy mall bathroom, another man unzipped his pants and attempted to use the same one as me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML
Today, I went into the men's restroom and started peeing in a urinal next to a middle-age man. As he zipped up and walked away, he said to me, "Don't worry, it'll grow." FML
Today, I was walking to a bathroom on campus before class when my professor walked in behind me. There were two urinals in the bathroom, we walked right up next to each other and unzipped our pants in unison. It became so awkward for me, I actually said out loud, "Nope, too awkward" and left. FML
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, an obese man decided it was okay to share a urinal with me. FML
Today, I really had to pee at work and rushed to the urinal. I unzipped but couldn't find the hole in the front of my boxers and ended up pissing my pants. I had put my boxers on backwards. FML
Today, I used the restroom at a mall. I thought I was alone, so I started singing. When I got out of the stall, there were men staring at me. Not only did I embarrass myself with my own singing, I'd accidentally used the men's restroom too. FML
Today, I was using a public restroom. As I lowered my pants, a man's head and arms popped out over the divider. He took a picture and immediately rushed out. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
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Top comments
svalaedgren 18
Some people don't know the value personal space.
triplebeerox 27
I've of course never used the men's bathroom but to me it's crazy that a bunch of guys are standing around with their junk hanging out and peeing. Can they see each other as they pee? I'm glad the women's bathroom has private stalls and we're not sitting and peeing in front of strangers.
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Comments (108)
Alpaca_BAMF 8
That sucks
Mpower121 2
Hey, you know something? YOU suck!
wlddog 14
Look,,, I had to go really bad and OP was taking too long. It is not like we started sword fighting.
ositoakaluis 16
you should have has a sword fight there can only be one...
RedPillSucks 33
I think that's what the guy was hoping OP would do.
Canuck13 12
"Don't cross the streams…It would be bad. Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light." Words to live by.
svalaedgren 18
Some people don't know the value personal space.
Pesticides 19
I mean seriously, people don't even use adjacent urinals for that reason.
KeXu 6
Lol I'm pretty sure 'inattentiveness towards personal space' wouldn't be enough to make you use the SAME URINAL as someone else.
ositoakaluis 16
sharing is caring and it could be fun
triplebeerox 27
I've of course never used the men's bathroom but to me it's crazy that a bunch of guys are standing around with their junk hanging out and peeing. Can they see each other as they pee? I'm glad the women's bathroom has private stalls and we're not sitting and peeing in front of strangers.
jw90 18
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Some men still have something we call dignity. That's why when I pee in a public place I go pee in the stall for some privacy.
FrietvanPiet 16
Why does it have to be such a big deal? its just peeing, a natural process. Why act like it is such a big deal?
RobotSpaceWalrus 5
Wow I never thought someone could be condescending about the way they pee. "Dignity"? Do you mean to imply that being comfortable enough to just use a urinal makes you undignified? How does that not sound absurd to you? I use urinals, you don't. That's fine, we're different people, but to judge others for being different for you in of all things the way they pee, is just absurd, and you, by extension, are an idiot.
fatraptorjesus13 9
Eh, I've never seen the issue it's not like (usually) there is guys just staring at the others. Even if they do its just another dude, that I will never see again.
SpartanCEL 6
3, there's now, a lot of the time, mini stalls between the urinals, but we usually opt to go every other anyway, and guys usually can't see because of the mini stall but if there isn't mini stalls, we can only see if we look, or peripheral vision if they're right beside you, unfortunately
JACKxRAWR 22
Mini-stalls aren't too common here in the UK. I had some guy in a pub introduce himself and then start singing to me whilst we were stood at the urinals. He even tried to shake my hand.
ShadowRaptor 9
That's why the lines for the ladies rooms are so long...gotta be efficient...
CallMeMcFeelii 14
That's man code 101. You always leave a urinal between you and other guys. That is if its possible, if not, just look ahead take a piss and leave. Not such a big deal unless you make it into one.
Kc1001 14
no. haven't you ever seen a relaxed piece of junk? we're actually able to conceal it all.
Chibitalia180 6
Lots of public bathrooms have this tiny walls between urinals so you can't look. And even if they don't, you wouldn't really even see another guy's junk unless you actually try to look. Also, that's why lots of people try not to use a urinal that is next to an occupied one.
badgirl00069 19
should have started barking or something Lol nobody likes to stand next to a crazy least then he wouldn't have been in ur bubble
Pwn17 25
Barking? He could just say something instead.
MzZombicidal 36
Also, I'm pretty sure the stranger had some of his own issues. Some how, I don't think barking would have worked. :P
buckdharma 38
Yeah, listen to me dog before you start to wine That side yours and this side mine Move it on over Rock it on over Move over little dog A big old dog is movin' in
Pwn17 25
Damn. Some people just have no shame.
Mpower121 2
Completely agree. Look at Tom De Longe for example. Cannot sing for shit, and yet he continues to do so. No shame. Some men, really do just wanna watch the world burn.
Pwn17 25
Really? You're really going to go there? Seriously, shut the **** up. My music taste has nothing to do with this FML, and have done nothing to offend you, asshole. (For those who don't know, Tom DeLonge is one of the singers of Blink 182, which I have listed on my profile as my favorite band)
Pesticides 19
there's always that one guy...
Queensland 27
Seems like urine trouble. ;)
luminos77 3
Awesome haha
BexBaby86 21
Avoid eye contact? Just kidding. Awkward time... Guess he doesn't get personal space. Let alone waiting until you were done. Got to love public bathrooms and the nightmares that happen inside of them. Hope your next one is a private one!
Mpower121 2
Should've told him to piss off.
Pesticides 19
Op should have made deliberate eye contact while he finished...
tegraturbo2000 15
beter to piss of than pissed on eh?
fluffycatsdad 33
What the actual ****? That violates the urinal code in I don't know HOW many ways!
Mpower121 2
Yes because his actions clearly demonstrate his concern for the urinal code at that moment.
JACKxRAWR 22
You could say he's.... a loose cannon.
JACKxRAWR 22
YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAHHH! *CSI:Miami theme*
AngrySailor 17
Did you have some left? You should have "missed" the urinal. I don't fight other men while my unit is out, but I think it would have been justified here.