Today, a very attractive man asked me out. I'd have been flattered if I weren't the nurse assigned to his laboring wife. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I asked my doctor out on a date. He had his nurse turn me down. FML
Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML
Today, a very attractive man asked me out on a date, and I said yes. He is tall, charming and a very good kisser. I'm sure the woman he heavily made out with after I left would agree. FML
Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having painful surgery, so I decided to make him a nice big breakfast. As I was taking it up to him, I heard a message on the phone. It was from one of his nurses. She was accepting his offer of a date. FML
Today, I went to a social event with a very attractive male co-worker. Things were going awesome, we were flirting and really hitting it off. Then his 'wife' called. FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, after a year and half of being single, I was asked out on a date. I was asked by a married man. FML
Today, I realized why I was hired to be a nanny. Apparently the husband had eyes for the last nanny. According to the wife I am not attractive enough to be a threat. FML
Today, I'm so insecure that I was still slightly flattered when the demented old man at the nursing home where I work hit on me, because at least somebody finds me attractive. FML
Today, at work, a woman fainted, and an extremely attractive cop came in to help. I ended up running into him an hour later. Seeing as though I'm not very shy or a nervous person, I struck up a conversation with him, thinking it must be fate. I ended up fumbling my words so much he asked if I was drunk. FML
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Top comments
MissIconic 8
Call him out on it later, that's disrespectful :/
the_anti_hipster 7
Ouch. Look on the bright side...you can say no and be rid of him. His wife, on the other hand...not so lucky.
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Comments (117)
pdp_fml 21
This man can't keep it in his pants.
sheethapins 13
That's because pigs love to pork.
rekege 18
Girls giving birth, shitty dads, and drama. Were you on the setting of 16 and pregnant?
Brotha_Lou 5
Damn it, it's because of jackass like this, women tend to think all men are like that. The reason I can't get laid haha :(
gribbles 12
Or maybe the reason you can't get laid is because your objective is to get laid?
st333ph 12
You kinda remind me of the guy who sang the song "let me smang it" I forgot his name though hahaha.
fat_snooki_lol 6
I'd say there are other reasons why you aren't getting laid.
Jonaykay 1
Lemme smang it, girl! Lemme smash it and bang it! Good god that song sucks...but gets stuck in my head like none other
supportcommand 17
Go out with him. His wife is obviously out of commission for a while.
mario2012 18
You're a dick. I hope you don't have have kids in the future. If your wife is in labor, you are supposed to take care of her as she wouldn't be very mobile(I think) not to mention that constitutes as cheating.
ObeyStudKing 4
Your a ******* twat. It's no wonder why 90% of women are lesbians. Jackass
walmartpaysme 15
90% of women are lesbians? What? Where did you get that statistic?
igive 29
64- pulled it out of his ass
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Support command? Really? It's sounds like your intelligence is more along the lines of military intelligence.
ebonyirony 29
He was kidding.
supportcommand 17
71- thank you. It seems that most people here on FML take everything people say WAY too seriously.
supportcommand 17
69- my name has no space thank you. And nothing to do with military.
MissMess 12
Throw the placenta at his face!
linx468 8
Mmmmmmmm
skulekiller 8
Thats gross....
supportcommand 17
Don't do that! They might want to eat it later!
xxjenn27xx 8
thats ****** uppp
ohSNAPyall 27
Too late for him to prepare for the pregnancy.
rebel_belle1974 5
what a creep
flutter4 7
Poor kid is going to have a shitty dad
st333ph 12
What a disrespectful *****.
DinoChicken 3
I would slap him in the face! :D