Today, my husband asked me to show him my boob. I began to pull the side of my shirt down when he said, "No, not that one, the big one." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I started doing a striptease for my husband. He asked me to stop. FML
Today, while babysitting a six year-old boy, he asked me if I could show him my "boobies." I said no, that wouldn't be very appropriate. Suddenly, he pulled down his undies and pointed at his package while exclaiming, "Look, my penis is on again!" It was pointing RIGHT at me. FML
Today, my dad came to confiscate my phone. I stuck it in between my boobs so he wouldn't be able to see it. He said, "Honey, your breasts aren't big enough to hide that." FML
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend had bought me sexy lingerie for our anniversary. However, they're for for a bigger bust. When I asked if I could return it for the right size, he asked me to get a boob job to fit the bra instead. FML
Today, I went out to a store. I didn't have a bra on under my shirt, but some stranger offered to buy me one, because she didn't like the fact that my nipples were hard, and her husband was able to see them. FML
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
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Top comments
SusanBieber 10
Don't worry, almost every girl's boobs are not identical. It's natural
astralvagan 20
You should ask him to show you his penis and then say the same thing to him
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Comments (122)
iop330 22
Hey at least one is big....
ICastillo 25
Hey if you're going to look at one boob might as well be the big one. Go big or go home.
sens3sfailing 25
ummm...am I the only one thinking id rather see both and not care about size cuze, lets face it, boobs are boobs, and while some may be more awesome than others, they are still awesome
Werken247 14
@72 unless they're saggy granny boobs that hang down to the knees.
skoob1 12
Nope, gilf boobs are GREAT!
SusanBieber 10
Don't worry, almost every girl's boobs are not identical. It's natural
timjones 8
Actually no pair of boons are the same. I don't know all the science terms along with it but there's something there that prevents them from being the same.
Gunnie 24
Yes! Just like eyebrows, they are sisters, not twins! :D
jesernoob 13
*boobs?
TheAbstract 15
boons made me smile for some reason. is that weird?
timjones 8
Yes yes. I meant boobs. My bad.
Enslaved 38
We knew what you meant. (: still funny as hell! Gotta love typos. >.< .
theycallmekitty 13
My bigger one is good ole lefty. It took hours of me inspecting them in the mirror to figure this out.
caysters 12
A slight difference is normal. But if its very noticeable, that is not normal. I had that issue, and actually had surgery to correct it because it was called a tuberous breast.
EmilyAnzyx 8
its the heart which enlarges one of them
musicalnoodles23 5
83, if someone's heart was so large that it affected the size of their breast, they should see a heart specialist because that's not normal.
kittytub 12
most women's right breast is bigger than their left. its due to the fact that more women are right handed, and you have more muscle in that side. so left handed people usually have a larger left breast. (i hope that made sense.)
94yhy 8
Grab him and show him a mirror.
Streetracer15 9
At least he pays attention to you enough to notice
camsterjoe 12
What guy in his right mind wouldn't pay attention to boobs?
sarah6786 14
yeah you're probably right
Seany_93 18
Just whip em both out he can't be complaining!
Metallica36176 16
That's my first thought: Why not both? *mexican music*
astralvagan 20
You should ask him to show you his penis and then say the same thing to him
Imhere4fml 24
Same timing, we think alike. You must be my fraternal twin
Enslaved 38
He'll just think her asking to see the "bigger one" means the same penis but erect this time! Sounds like foreplay. . . Hello, sexy alone time. :P
newbiehere99 6
Wait if she says the same thing, does that mean he has two penis'? 0_o
Imhere4fml 24
You should say the same about his penis ...
Bluekaren16 19
Or testicles.
LolFMLnot 10
Depends on how big the other one is, if it's just a little big then it's not that bad.
Kallian_fml 21
'Little big'? I wasn't aware those two words could be used next to each other.
DerrickJames 33
29 - It is called an oxymoron.
The_F3rris 11
Your ear picture arouses me.
LolFMLnot 10
7 i find this picture amusing. 29 you get my point
skoob1 12
41, that's just rude. If you don't have anything nice to say...
Metallica36176 16
Yeah 71. I fall for his picture every time and click his.profile to get a closer look...then remember...it kills me. The ear is a lie.
RoperGirl203 9
91, was that sarcasm?? There is nothing "rude" about that. 41 just pointed out that it's call an oxymoron. If you get offended that easily, you probably shouldn't be on here. (:
skoob1 12
*PSSST* it was a joke...
Free4ever 6
You're beautiful just the way you are OP. :)
zombieslayer83 19
Creepy!
MaydayParadexx 18
Oh look, an attractive guy wearing a SnapBack telling a girl who he has no idea what she looks like how beautiful she is. ******* swaggots.
Free4ever 6
I meant it as in everyone is beautiful in their own special way, but thanks for turning it into something negative.
Joe9024 20
You shouldn't be able to notice that much of a difference...
dalink 24
Your picture is awesome btw.