Today, I was in a shop with my 9 month-old son. He was babbling gibberish as babies do, and repeatedly said what sounded like the N-word. We're white. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my son said his first word. It was the N-word. We are white. I need to have a talk with my husband immediately. FML
Today, I was listening to an inappropriate song while driving around when I heard my 3 year-old in the back seat say the n-word. If you hear kids screaming, "LEGOS, LEGOS!" out of the windows as I drive by, that's my pathetic attempt at reversing the language they heard. FML
Today, our three year-old, who we thought was in bed, was actually on the stairs over our shoulders while we watched a black comedian. Guess which new and exciting bad word he keeps saying that is sure to piss black people off. Yep, that word. We can’t go out in public anymore. FML
Today, my son said his first word, which was, "Fuck". He got it from my great aunt, who my wife was skeptical of our son meeting because she "says too many bad words". Sorry, Honey. FML
Today, my toddler repeated a very inappropriate word I'd said when I'd stubbed my toe. He chose to do this in the middle of a crowded supermarket, loudly, and repeatedly. Now the whole town probably thinks I have questionable parenting skills. FML
Today, I met my "grandson". Even though my son and his wife are both lily white, the child was clearly half-black. I pulled my son aside to have a word, but he said, "Her grandmother was black and she has recessive genes, it's really rare." I can't believe I raised this dumbass. FML
Today, I told to my son that I'm pregnant. After I'd told him, he looked up and yelled, "Fuck this shit!" and walked out of the room. My son is nine years-old. FML
Today, I was babysitting with my best friend, watching my one-year-old cousin. We thought it would be funny to say a bunch of swear words in front of him, since he didn't know how to talk. Five minutes later, guess what his first word was? And guess who won't be invited over for a while? FML
Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML
Today, while at a restaurant, my three year old daughter pointed at an African-American girl and yelled out “She’s ugly because she’s black!” Me and my wife got dirty looks for the entire rest of our meal. We have no idea where she learned that. FML
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Top comments
poopface82 25
When my son was 3 months old, he babbled something that sounded like Mario. He also cried uncontrollably when we had a dark-skinned waiter (though he was fine the same day around a different black man.) At that age, it’s almost certainly gibberish, but if I were you, I would avoid exposing them to that word as long as possible until you have to have that conversation with them.
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Comments (2)
RichardPencil 32
Why do you say the N-word around the house all the time? Being white just makes it worse.
poopface82 25
When my son was 3 months old, he babbled something that sounded like Mario. He also cried uncontrollably when we had a dark-skinned waiter (though he was fine the same day around a different black man.) At that age, it’s almost certainly gibberish, but if I were you, I would avoid exposing them to that word as long as possible until you have to have that conversation with them.