Today, a stranger called me, saying I look hot in the bra I was wearing. When I hung up, thinking it was a joke, I opened the back door, and saw a man running away from my backyard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it, and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
Today, I was getting dressed in my bedroom with the blinds open and had nothing covering my top half. I thought my neighbours wouldn't be able to see in through all the trees, that was until I heard someone wolf whistle and one of my neighbours running away. FML
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, I was home alone. I didn't expect anyone to be anywhere near home, so when I got out of the shower, I walked to the living room, naked, to get the tv remote for my room. Only to find the UPS guy standing at our glass front door. I screamed... so did he. FML
Today, somebody poured a cup of coffee down the back of my shirt. When I turned around, I saw a man who said, "You looked like my ex from behind!" and ran off. FML
Today, I went for a run. I noticed a really hot guy mowing his lawn. I ran a couple of laps past him. After a while, when I slowed down, I smiled at him, and he said, "You look really hot." I thanked him, and he quickly replied, "No, I mean you're sweating a lot." FML
Today, I went for a run. When I got home, no one was there so I took off my clothes and laid on the cool wood floor. I decided to call my girlfriend and we started talking in baby voices. That's when my mom walked into the house witnessing everything. FML
Today, I got a call from the police that my house had been burglarized, but an off-duty cop caught the criminal. I pull up to see my detained, psycho ex-boyfriend sheepishly grinning at me. He had three of my lace panties and two of my bras, claiming it was "all for memories' sake". FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
boating_guy 33
Buy a gun. Dare him to **** with you again.
Fence 8
Aw DAMN. That's creepy as heck.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (186)
Felling 14
You're so ******. xD
devydev92 5
Great observation you made there.
gc327072 31
11- no, only if she got raped. But she didn't, and now knows to watch out.
S182 15
So.... I'm assuming by the sequence of events given that you did not put a shirt on before looking outside. Niiiiiice....
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
I hope you lock up really well tonight, OP. Try going to the police.
saIty 17
That monster! Did he really think the show was free?
gracehi 33
Sucks for you, Kate Middleton.
gc327072 31
I know I'm gonna get thumbed down for this, but good one! Actually made me laugh out loud.
Zomg_Okay 27
Hold on, I'm confused. Did he mean the OP looked hot, or was he talking about himself? I can't tell if OP means those were his exact words or if he was talking about her. I'm probably just having an idiot moment but could someone clarify for me? edit: Nevermind, the quotation marks were removed. I understand now.
Deeznutzhairy 7
Touché :o . But I'm pretty sure that guy wasn't wearing a bra . :p
Zomg_Okay 27
24 - You never know. :o 61 - Thanks, 61. At first, the "I look hot in a bra" bit had quotation marks, which is why I was confused.
Mearemoi 14
Wow, that's really, really creepy. Especially since he knew your phone number.
walmartpaysme 15
Maybe it was a friend who decided to scare the crap out of her? If so, I think it worked.
jrjmoon 7
id say it was just someone messibg with her, my first thlight was how would somone know her number.... i bet it wad just a friebd or five having a laugh but none the less op you should look into it
samsaf1989 5
Huh ? ^
walmartpaysme 15
So... 94, you felt the need to basically repeat what I said? At least TRY to make it readable.
believe_alanis 8
agree >_<
blahblah0392 7
Funny how he knew your number
Shrike 24
More like creepy as hell, but hey, everyone and their mom list all their personal info on the internet these days.
sillyyanks 24
Everyone and their mum? WHAT?
Shrike 24
Yeah, it's slang to emphasize the "everyone" part. It's a pretty popular saying in the UK, where you claim to live.
Welshite 40
Where I'm from it's "everyone and their dog." That's my bit of useless information.
j_cat187 20
37 That's funny because my mom and grandma use that saying and their from California.
ShyAnn29 15
60, that's the saying I've heard before.
Hiimhaileypotter 53
Little late for this thread, but where I'm from people say "Everybody and their brother." Haha.
Lucious306 7
I'd get an guard dog or something. Not cool at all
GypsyRover 0
Get a lion. "nobody messes with the king of the ******* jungle!"
Pogox 5
A guard dog, dumbass. Not an. Very basic rule of the English language.
ShyAnn29 15
136, I'm sure it was a typo, I don't get why grammar is such a big deal on here, I mean, if it's understandable, then it shouldn't be such a big deal.