Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML
Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was at the mall with a couple of friends when we saw a couple of cute boys. I made eye contact with the cutest one. Flustered, I giggled, only to send a wad of snot flying out of my nose. FML
Today, I brought my own thermos of coffee on the train with me, the kind that flips open to uncover the mouth part. I took a few swigs and notices a cute boy nervously smiling at me. Suddenly, I felt something drip down my nose. The flip part was leaving drops of coffee all over my forehead. FML
Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML
Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the train after a long day. I woke up to find that I’d been drooling onto the shoulder of the stranger next to me for at least three stops. He said nothing, but when I stood up, there was a wet patch shaped like my face on his sleeve. FML
Today, I made eye-contact with a cute guy in a store. Too bad he saw me buying anti-diarrhea medicine. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was taking the train home from another unsuccessful job interview. As I was sitting there, I felt the urge to yawn, but before I could raise my hand to cover my mouth some guy stuck his finger in it. FML
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Top comments
minna97 14
Why the **** was there foam on your nose?
DocBastard 40
I just lost 17 IQ points from reading tis stupid tread and forgot te letter "H". Tanks a lot, assoles.
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Comments (66)
minna97 14
Why the **** was there foam on your nose?
Codezlol 21
That wasn't foam. Cocaine is a helluva drug.
Ambient25 25
That wasn't cocaine. I sold her detergent powder hahaha
euphoricness 28
That wasn't detergent powder. I gave her rabies.
Ambient25 25
I didn't know animals could type...
JMichael 26
It wasn't rabies. We just finished a heated moment.
Ambient25 25
AIDS?
DocBastard 40
I just lost 17 IQ points from reading tis stupid tread and forgot te letter "H". Tanks a lot, assoles.
Ambient25 25
We aim to please. Also I finished a 24 pack of Stella with my friends...now I can't decide if I want to sit or play GTA5...
greenmen 12
Best FML comments I can't stop LMFAO
Ambient25 25
thank you. Glad you enjoy the hilarity of those just having fun. It reminds us that not all are stuck up fake docs who find social interaction to be the acceptance of the FML community
DocBastard 40
Fake doc? Hahahaha! You're cute.
Ambient25 25
Oh what you're a real one? Oh good...so I should trust that you said you're a doc and change what I wrote...? No, the definition still stands. Besides, online, you can be whatever you want to be. Congrats on your username referencing your supposed occupation, but as I mentioned before, that doesn't mean you can be a dick in an attempt to placate your sense of acceptance. I should just come up with a username that says "AmbientSkydiver"...that'll show them
DocBastard 40
Ambient25, check your PMs. Whatever grief you have with me doesn't belong here. You can complain directly to me rather than forcing everyone else to hear your pathetic moaning.
Ambient25 25
Already did there buddy
flockz 20
*sings* "i can't live with all this DRAMAAAAAAA(extra vibrato)"
iknowiwantyou 13
I really wouldn't be surprised if he actually turned out to be some nurse or ER doctor instead. haha!
WellThatSucked89 13
Whoa! Why all the heat on the doc? That's like disrespecting an MC president! Ya just don't do it! Maybe if you guys read his actual blog, assuming you understand medical terminology, you'd realize there is no fake there. Drama is unnecessary, he was just doing what we all do. Comment. Downvotes? I accept that.
obi1kenobi 8
Could it be the foam from her coffee?
Vladash 14
wtf lol
SgtAssCheeks 21
I despise comments like these.
Vladash 14
I had somethin else written there but I regret it. I had 10 seconds to change it so it was the only thing that I could write. so SHUT UP.
skyttlz 32
Doc is a trauma surgeon. I've been here long enough.
JasonUMN 15
At least you don't have rabies.
sassypants93 17
Are you sure?
onlychildFTW 34
They may have rabies. What if the foam came from the mouth and she coughed and it got on her nose?
flashback.miss 28
Better than if it were his foam....
masterof1 7
wow I did not see that cumming
Tali147 16
At least he didn't let you go about the rest of your day with foam on your nose. Sounds like true love to me.
whyisitme12 19
Yea today, some stranger stopped me and told me something was hanging out my back pocket. Lord behold my back pocket was actually out of my pants. So EMBARRASSING!!!
DocBastard 40
Oh no!! Not the dreaded back pocket hanging out! Anything but that! And surely you meant "lo and behold", right? Autocorrect, right?
Ambient25 25
Good job Doc, but why don't you try and come up with something good to say instead of disparaging those who make a small mistake. "OMG autocorrect messed up your comment, let me take pleasure in picking it apart". It's sad to see what your sense of satisfaction is. If this site wasn't full of under 18 year olds, I dunno if you would be so popular. But I guess that's just my thought. Then again, it's not a thought which cares for distinction.
Sapphire876 11
#38 There is a reason why his name is Doc...Bastard.
Ambient25 25
What sets him apart from a troll then? Just because it says "Bastard" doesn't mean anything. My name could be "Ambient Dick", that doesn't mean it's cool for me to be a dick at everything
Edumcg 24
#42 calm down man.... we're all just trying to have some fun and forget about daily day problems ^^
Ambient25 25
Yeah I guess I got a little peeved. Oh well I apologize
Lacist 19
But seriously with Docs experience on FML, most of us know his patronizing attitudes on either stupid comments or minor mistakes are all for fun. It's like insulting your close friend against insulting a stranger, people take it differently.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
Really enjoying your morning cappuccino?
HowieDoIt 21
That must have been a lot of foam if he could see it from a fair distance. Slightly embarrassing, but good starting point for later conversation!
bobo_the_bear 5
Don't snort coffee, drink it .
TEXASDude45 5
At least he broke the ice?
NIELSROMINE 2
Foam on nose = drinking Starbucks = WHITE GIRL. Now that we have her race established...
Welshite 40
I fail to see the relevance. What does race have to do with anything, you moron? Answer: absolutely nothing.
Mshrodes 13
Hum... What ?