Today, a large spider climbed inside my lunchbox while my mom was making me sandwiches. She didn't tell me about it until after I got home from school, though, and only because I mentioned a strange aftertaste in the sandwiches. She said she didn't want me to worry over lunch because she knows I hate spiders. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML
Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and was about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuttled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, after waking up to find a large spider outside my bedroom door and screaming, waking up my mum to kill it, she then sprayed it and went to pick it up. She then informed me it was made of plastic. My cat had got into the Halloween decorations from the spare room and decided to play. FML
Today, I was sitting under a rather large house plant in my dining room, minding my own business when a spider lowered itself right in front of my face. It startled me, causing me to gasp, which resulted in me inhaling the spider. I then spent 3 minutes choking on it. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I found out that the stories about how you swallow insects and spiders in your sleep are true, as I woke up to a funny taste in my mouth and the remains of a spider stuck to my braces. FML
Today, I saw a spider. My two year-old knows that I'm afraid of them, but in an attempt to not pass my phobia onto him, I said it was a piece of dirt. Now he thinks that I'm afraid of dirt. I did not think this through. FML
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Top comments
ragnarok1540 39
That sounds a bit suspicious. If your mom was making the sandwich while the spider climbed into your lunchbox, how did the spider get completely inside your sandwich in such a way that you would not see a leg or two sticking out or otherwise notice beforehand? I think you should inspect all your food before you eat, and consider hiring a taster tester. Your mom may have it in for you ...
lhazz11 23
Why would she not get it out...?
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Comments (41)
J352SAURUS 30
I think this might be your Mum's way of saying that you need to start making your own sandwiches.
xo_rilee 13
As a fellow arachnophobe, I feel your pain and would be absolutely distraught to find out that she withheld this information. You could've at least set your lunch on fire to be on the safe side.
jengers115 10
The mother is a jokester
graphicstyle7 17
I'd say Mom was kidding.
CrazedSanity 17
If you think that's gross, try not to think about the spiders we eat while we sleep.
MythItalics 3
Either your mom is slightly ditzy or she's being a complete butt.
aresia 2
you don't hate them you ate them........
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Your mother is winding you up.
Jacob Lincoln 4
extra protein anyone?
lucasj23 11
thus sounds rather unplausable.