Today, I regret calling my hardass boss a cocksucking bastard when I quit a few months back. My new job just laid me off, and I could desperately use a good reference from the aforementioned cocksucking bastard. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was telling my coworker that I was considering quitting the shady, 50-shades-of-scum business we work at. He snitched to our boss, who quickly fired me on bullshit charges of incompetence, theft, and workplace bullying. I guess I'm not getting a good reference from him. FML
Today, I begged the people at my new job not to call my current boss for a reference because he is a vindictive dog shite. They called him for a reference, he tanked me, they believed him and withdrew my job offer. My boss also sacked me for disloyalty, thus proving he’s a vindictive dog shite. FML
Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML
Today, my former boss called to bitch me out for some computer issue he emailed me to fix three days ago. I quit my job there 7 months ago, and I had to hand my phone to my new manager to convince my old boss I really did quit and wasn’t just avoiding fixing the computer problem. Asshole. FML
Today, at work, I stepped out for a few minutes to use the bathroom. Shortly after returning, I found out the hard way that one of my coworkers had used my computer to send a profanity-filled email to our boss, calling him an asshole and telling him to go fuck himself. I'm now jobless. FML
Today, I sat in my boss's office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML
Today, my boss found out I had applied for a much better paying job. He told me I'd do a better job and make more money there. Then he fired me. FML
Today, my boss fired me. I still can't really explain where the slap I gave him for it came from, though. FML
Today, I completed my two-month internship, where I have been working as hard as I could with the hope of being hired. My boss couldn't remember my name, and declined to be a reference. FML
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Top comments
tigerisabelle 31
As anybody with a lick of sense knows, you don't ever do that to a former boss, no matter how ******* terrible they were. It's a little something called professionalism. Learn it
Welshite 40
So you go back to him, get on your knees, and offer to return the favor. Is it basically pimping yourself out? Yes. But a man's got to do what a man's got to do to get a good reference.
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Comments (43)
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
Karma is a bitch ain't it?
MikaykayUnicorn 36
More like "Being a ******* idiot never makes your life easier." Not necessarily karma, just the consequences of OP's idiotic actions.
siggy_mcsigx 22
I'm just hazarding a guess here that OP is a rather hostile employee...
Welshite 40
So you go back to him, get on your knees, and offer to return the favor. Is it basically pimping yourself out? Yes. But a man's got to do what a man's got to do to get a good reference.
DankNissan 11
Then who is **** sucking?
PePziNL 20
#14: not that kind of 'get on your knees'.
Monster6592 1
#47 He says "is it basically pimping yourself out? Yes." That suggests giving the boss a suck
borntoperform 14
This might only work for women but when I did something similar I kind of just went to my old boss and said, "I regret calling you a cocksucking bastard and I could desperately use a good reference from you." Worked well enough.
tigerisabelle 31
As anybody with a lick of sense knows, you don't ever do that to a former boss, no matter how ******* terrible they were. It's a little something called professionalism. Learn it
sturschaedel 27
Exactly. You can think things like that, but you never say it. Smile, be friendly, and rejoice in the knowledge that you are the bigger person.
redskyontherox 15
sometimes people have to learn the hard way. I'm sure the op is young and will grow from this experience.
superlloyd 15
it has nothing to do with professionalism. it is about self-interest; which is fine. You have so much to say but none of it valid. Useless.
molliekatz 6
possibly BUT if he was a real cocksucker to OP then sometimes "professionalism" means telling them to get fisted. There's also something called respect so since I've met more then one asshole who's abuse of power warranted afore mentioned insult then maybe its deserved to be called out on their shit?
Magnoxidans 19
There's no gain in doing things like that only potential regret...
oldsaltydawg 12
not even going to sugar coat it, you definitely did this to yourself
CloudNiner 13
Write one you're self and give a buddy's phone number instead
daengh 15
No reference is better than being caught in a lie about a bad one.
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
your*
Luke16eirb7deneuwn1 20
yourself*
Mathalamus 25
You deserved it, for being an immature child.
aruden 25
It's one of those things, if it feels good to say it you probably shouldn't.
chuka81 27
I understand why people are overwhelmingly against OP. What he did was immature. However immaturity isn't always horrible. I had a horrible boss once, and I was glad to finally be able to flip him the bird after I got a new job. Fortunately for me though, I've not had reason to go back to him for any sought of help yet. And I always remember his face after I told him off with so much satisfaction. It might be immature, but definitely satisfying. Too bad it didn't quite work out for OP though.
sweetbliss3 37
I've had some horrible bosses. always be professional even on your last day. a. it shows you're the bigger person. B. you don't look like an idiot. I don't see the point of being immature. you got a new job. walk out and be done with the former place. you gain nothing by looking like and being an asshole.
DocBastard 40
Congratulations on completely missing the point.
Dale_shackleford 13
I stopped reading after you said that being immature isn't always a bad thing.
daengh 15
You might be surprised how often the "6 degrees of separation" thing puts people together who have nothing on common but having had worked with you. Then they compare notes...