Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
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Top comments
MetallicaRules19 4
what a (puts on sunglasses) bitch
redbluegreen 41
I guess you got your trick.
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Comments (94)
SwiftKick2DA 0
you know why!
H8rSk8r 0
OMG! LaFluer! Is that you?
hahaalolz 0
bahaa what a little bitch!
maphineRAWRS 10
as much as that would hurt, it wouldve been so funny to watch, bhahaaha
mrahhhhh 21
No, #2. THIS is how you do it: She seems to have confused trick or treating with... *puts on sunglasses* Dick and junk beatings. YYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!
mrahhhhh 21
#2 that's not how you do it either. Pendatik forgot to type "yeah" in a drawn out yell. He can never show you how to do it right. Please ignore what he said :). Wait a minute... you shot me. My final word will be... My last name. Ahhhhh!
MetallicaRules19 4
cool
friday170 0
this fml is as fake as your moms ****.
biggary19 3
it is "trick" or treat thats what u get for not having candy. get holiday spirit and dont be an a**hole. kid taught a good lessen lmao.
_kthnxbai 0
Speaking of lessons, learn to spell.
chloelovestoswim 6
but it's not halloween yet dumbass...
ianl87 0
should have given the kid candy...
at1325 0
this whole parents not being allowed to spank their children crap is ruining America, some kids just need the living shit beat out of them from time to time to be decent people.
insanesna1l 0
not just America unfortunately. in Australia we used to beat our children with canes made from crocodile skin
bombtastic 10
seriously. now we get stuck with retarded kids who think they can get what they want whenever they want. a swift kick in the ass and a smack around or two will teach em. look at how we turned out. dumbass kids and poor parenting. how sad.
WarByrd 0
i don't see what this law shit is about spanking children? my daughter is 1 1/2 years old i have never failed to whoop that child when she gets out of line. and my friends and family swear she's the prettiest, smartest, most well behaved child. (sure she's a baby... but you all should know how it goes)
xXCrazyPersonXx 0
Totally agree with you. Kids these days...just need to have a shoe firmly shoved up their asses.
randiZ25 0
totally agree.. spare the rod spoil the child.. I have two girls and they'd be little devils if I didn't bust their butts!
randiZ25 0
Totally agree.. spare the rod spoil the child.. i've got two girls who know better bc I'm not affraid to spank them
babelini 12
how rude.
Bartimaeus 7
my whole county celebrated Halloween on Saturday. she's going to grow up to do more than punch people's groins. sounds like a horrible kid.