Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML
Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, it's my first Halloween in America since moving from Russia. While handing candy to children, my roommate told me to compliment a little girl by saying "You have a face only a parent could love". I found out it isn't a compliment when I was punched by her Dad. FML
Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, as I walked out of the local store, I noticed a young girl was sitting on the curb, crying. I nudged her with the Snickers bar I had bought earlier, thinking she needed it more than me. After looking at it, she yelled, "PEDOPHILE!", punched me in the balls, and then ran away screaming. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I decided to scare my 10 year old sister for fun. I hid behind a door and leapt out, shouting "Boo!" when she walked by. She burst into tears and ran screaming to my mom. My mom thought I'd hit my sister, and was so angry that she punched me in the eye. FML
Today, it's Halloween. I get bullied every day and this was no exception, but this time I got beat up so hard I bled. Everyone thought it was part of my costume. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MetallicaRules19 4
what a (puts on sunglasses) bitch
redbluegreen 41
I guess you got your trick.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
Albert1357 0
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
callmepepe25 0
she is my new best friend
ThatsAfurry 9
you shoulda said the kid wasnt getting candy tommorow either
harry_potter_luv 0
haha
fakeaccountX 6
You just got tricked in the treats.
Nick_1993 2
in utah it was halloween yesterday... nope today is mormon day
momogal 22
you do realize that we Mormons celebrate Halloween, too, right? It wasn't moved back for the Mormons. It was moved back because there are quite a few religions that look down on celebrating halloween on Sunday. Also because kids have school on monday morning. By doing the trick or treating on saturday, it gives them a day to recuperate from the sleepiness and tummy aches.
angrynegro7 16
Find that bitch and beat her ass!!!!!
shadowskater 0
you do realize that in order to not conflict with certain religions they moved Halloween back 1 day so it was probably Halloween that day
NovaMarie 0
Not every town observed that, though. Mine didn't, and from the sound of it, most of the OP's didn't either - save for one little hellmonkey.
RPattzs_gurl 0
FYL Children are ungrateful little bastards these days.
NovaMarie 0
You know, normally I'm not one for corporal punishment, but these are the kind of children who make me wish it weren't so heavily stigmatized where it isn't illegal. Seriously, that child deserves to be slapped senseless for that one. Whoever lets their kid run around and do things like that doesn't deserve the ability to breed.