Today, a hooker refused my custom. According to her, "Even whores have standards." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I got mugged by a fake hooker. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML
We need a break
Today, the hooker I have been seeing regularly for almost a year texted me to say she thinks we should no longer see each other again. I just got dumped by a hooker. FML
Today, for my birthday, I found out I'm too ugly even for a hooker to have sex with me. FML
Today, I finally lost my virginity. Too bad it cost me every last shred of self-respect and involved begging a hooker to take my money. FML
Soliciting
Today, I was at our hotel waiting for my husband to finish his shower so we could have our anniversary dinner, when hotel security forcefully removed me from the building because they do not allow "prostitutes" to look for clients on their property. They thought I was a hooker. FML
Sex work is real work
Today, I just found out my best friend is a hooker. I just thought she worked nights and had terrible taste in clothes. FML
Today, I had to dress like a diva for a drama performance and my friend said I looked like a hooker. Then someone said, “If hookers looked like that, they wouldn't get any money." FML
Today, I checked into a hotel because my boss had assigned me to a new position. As soon as the reception lady looked up, she had me kicked out of the hotel. Apparently, one of the regulations is, "No prostitutes allowed." I was wearing a business suit. FML
Today, I was driving back home after hanging out with some friends. I drove pass a woman standing next to a broken down car. I felt bad, so went back and offered her a ride home. Turns out it wasn't her car and she was a hooker. FML
Top comments
hailphire130 0
Give her some more money then. Bitches love money.
FMLollie 7
The way this FML is written it's so formal can you imagine how he would go up to her! "Excuse me miss, I would like to purchase your services in sexual pleasure."
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Comments (284)
indiablue 4
I feel stupid, but, what's a custom?
brunurb 5
"my custom" = a fancy way of saying he wanted to be a customer... custom/customer, get it? kinda like the relationship between the words shop and shopper. Has nothing to do with the way the word is used most often, as in "custom paint job".
KuroTori 2
Sucks to be you D:
KittyShadows 5
Ouch :/
madwill101 4
maaaan, you must be ugly -.-
Tookie22 5
Haha YDI. If you weren't so disgusting you probably could've hired her. WAIT better yet, If you weren't so disgusting and actually tried to find a girl you wouldn't have to hire a hooker. good luck getting laid. you'll be like 35 and the only naked girl you'll be near will on tv.
UhLeeUh 6
Lol wow
Coldinside 12
Well that sucks. Are you sure she's actually allowed to refuse you? File a complaint to her pimp if she has one, because I've never heard of this happening before.
someone234 5
yikesss
vieeev 4
They do!
alexFYL 11
Well, escorts do have standards. You're probably either rude, gross, too young or too old or just generally not their type, or they looked up your name and have found you are blacklisted by other escorts for some reason (generally those reasons are bad). They get to make their own rules. Find a different one, or if you are blacklisted, give up.