Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
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Top comments
Kyot3 7
That's when you're allowed to legally beat the tar out of him.
myoukei 31
*Insert a string of pissed off/on puns here.*
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Comments (73)
dweeds508 24
He should know that you always leave a buffer zone
superman3212 8
get pissed off?
thatnucca 36
Should have given him some Hershey stains in return...
Sacytrl 28
You should have returned the favour
DntLookBack 29
I thought there was some man rule about not using a urinal next to someone else unless it is unavoidable? And certainly a rule against checking out and commenting on another guys penis.
Ins0mau 20
There's a man rule against pissing on strangers too, I think.
Bevspeaks 11
He won't be laughing when the next girl he takes home laughs at his sorry excuse for a penis.
Obey_StudBoii 23
Sorry you had to go through that OP. Try to forget about it, there are plenty of women out there that don't care about size.
Bevspeaks 11
and^
10showgirl 16
cockbite??
generalasskicker 12
You should have smashed his head into the urinal then pissed on him