Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML
Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying, "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML
Today, I was in the bathroom, when someone came up behind me. Instead of waiting for a urinal to free up, he wedged his way in between me and another guy, and promptly began peeing in my urinal, crossing streams in the process. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, as a joke, my friends pushed me into the men's restroom and held the door shut. As I was trying to push the door open, I heard a voice behind me say, "Wow. Immaturity, huh?" I turned to find a guy taking a dump in one of the urinals. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Today, I noticed a guy checking out my ass in the mirror behind the bar where I work. He was cute, so I thought I'd put on a little show. I bent over to reach for something near the floor, which caused me to let rip a series of uncontrollable farts, like popping bubble wrap. He quickly left. FML
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Top comments
Kyot3 7
That's when you're allowed to legally beat the tar out of him.
myoukei 31
*Insert a string of pissed off/on puns here.*
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Comments (73)
Anai08 17
1. That's disgusting. I would of wanted to kick his ass, then take the money from HIS wallet and buy myself new clothes. 2. I'm sure you're a 'grower' and not a 'shower' OP. I'm sure it's a good enough size to please whatever partner you choose! ; ] 3. Isn't this breaking some kind of sacred man code to be looking at other men's penis' while at urinals?
banemask 14
It is in fact a violation of the guy code to disrespect the "eyes forward zone". You can get your mancard suspended for that
hcollins1 18
You never know, that man may pitch for the other team and needed and excuse for his wandering eyes.
Otaku31 19
Hearing stuff like this makes me glad I'm a girl. I'm very sorry OP.
olpally 33
What a dick.
Olympiakos10 15
I was imagining him falling on the floor while his stream of pee was shooting out really hard causing his body to spin around on the floor and then shoot him through the door back first. Bur that's just me.
Misskayfoyer 14
Why is he looking at your junk to begin with?
Olympiakos10 15
Because he's a cockbite
flashback.miss 28
Why would he randomly stare at a stranger's dick? Have him pay for dry-cleaning.
trbuson 11
That guy is a repeat offender to the urinal code of conduct.
ThePK 5
Exactly! Everyone knows that when there is no divider between urinals, then you don't go next to another man--one urinal distance between at the least!
Xotoolyxo 16
You punched him in the face then right ?
nflhomeboy 7
It's not the size that's matters, it's how you use it ;)
Hockeyboy4280 18
Please tell me you beat the piss out of him...