Today, I was taking a piss, when a mosquito came out of nowhere and headed straight for my dick. In my startled attempt to ward it away, I pissed all over everything, including myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML
Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML
Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML
Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML
Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML
Today, I had to take a serious piss. I started urinating and leaned back slightly on my heels. Somehow I lost my balance and fell backward, hitting my head on the wall behind me and spraying myself and my entire bathroom with my own pee. FML
Today, a guy started taking a leak beside me at the urinal. Evidently he figured he wasn't being enough of a cockbite, because he looked at my junk, laughed, "HAH!" then broke down into hysterics and totally lost control of his stream. I smell like piss. FML
Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML
Today, I was holding in pee because i was so busy at work. When I finally got up to relieve myself, I pulled down my pants, sneezed at that exact moment and peed all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was taking a piss in my toilet, and my cat came and jumped up onto the toilet bin and looked at what I was doing. Instinctively, thinking she'd jump in or something, I grabbed her while I was midstream, causing me to piss on her, and on my hand. FML
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Top comments
False_Stupidity 42
All you had to do was tell it to piss off! But no, you had to do it the hard way. You cocked up and now urine trouble.
maryiah 21
Hopefully this happened at home, not in a public restroom.. Sorry op
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Comments (104)
gear4 29
that mosquito wanted to suck a little more than blood man ... why you had to ruin it's chances :(
gjikvtj 18
I'd be pissed... what a buzz kill
cryssycakesx3 23
at least he didn't smack his dick!
brivielle 15
oh nooooo!!!!! u said no to a *******???
addictedtosorrow 12
Actually #67, he acted in a way that rejected blood getting sucked from his penis.
incoherentrmblr 22
The new scent from OFF: Piss...
brivielle 15
#77 my darling..apparently the joy of puns eludes you
daddysgirl8 21
You obviously don't understand what a pun is.
saba_ajira 29
That sucks OP. I hope nobody called you out for having it all over you...
Demig0d6 14
Op must've been pretty pissed
cumberbunny 17
This one's just gross!
speakersboom 19
Dude, there are way worse posts. welcome to FML.
gjikvtj 18
This seems like the kind of person who would tell somebody on here to stop swearing
cumberbunny 17
#38 No...you just seem like a little shit. :)
cryssycakesx3 23
"stop fighting yew guise"
Rainhawk94 27
You tell em #40
thesimp 6
Way to preach it #40!!
Vitotaylor36 13
Ha ha she got moderated
maryiah 21
Hopefully this happened at home, not in a public restroom.. Sorry op
lengi123 18
Well if it was at a public bathroom he probably could have pinned it on someone else
AsianCookie247 14
Puffytruffles 18
-cocks gun and waits for the comment-
jerryj 27
Calm down and put the gun away. He said he was taking a PISS.
cryssycakesx3 23
he meant "pissed off/on" jokes, oh great bright one.
warsun 27
Wants to suck your **** ._. Silly mosquito
chickenfeet223 11
This comment was just not needed
False_Stupidity 42
All you had to do was tell it to piss off! But no, you had to do it the hard way. You cocked up and now urine trouble.
icnburbbygrl 23
The puns! They hurt me with laughter!!
chickenfeet223 11
Haha. That was just a perfect pun
parism143 28
#32 This comment was just not needed
fortune789 17
You're comment of his comment not being needed is just as not needed a a my comment saying that your comment about his comment not being needed is not needed.
speakersboom 19
*your. that was needed.
AsianCookie247 14
So sorry OP! I'd freak out too if I were in that situation. FYL for being covered in your own urine.
markcallanan_ 20
Itsssss a shower time-a!
markcallanan_ 20
No, no? Anyone? Mario refernce?
markcallanan_ 20
Reference*
cryssycakesx3 23
nope.