Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
feven 32
He's probably seen worse things if he goes to people's houses often.
Emma1562 35
That sucks but it'll be a funny story to tell
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (59)
vikky538 29
He probably chuckled a but when he saw that :)
schreibergx93 19
Toilets flush those, sorry op :p
corky1992 33
Pretty sure you're not supposed to flush those..
hipposteve 21
What a mischievous kitty!
corky1992 33
Cats are dicks lol.
Jesserb 17
Pussy=dick......interesting
murph_fml 21
"Weeks ago" sounds like you know exactly when & where it came from. Been awhile?
17jemstar 14
I just reckon the cat sentence was an excuse to get ***** instead of YDI's.
Tkell45 3
Embarrassing, but not a FML moment
LPisLame 16
I worked for geek squad for a while. I went into this frat house to install some wall mounts for tv's. A dog walks up to me and drops a pillow case that's clearly been used over and over and over....and over and over as a **** rag. drops it on the floor and walks away. Some guy runs up and grabs it and says "hazing, right?"
TomeDr 25
You're probably never going to see this guy again. No big deal.
tj1540 16
Should've asked him if he'd like to add another one to your collection lol