Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, my roommate's parents came over to our one room apartment. They found condom wrappers. My roommate tried to say they were mine. I'm still a virgin. FML
Today, in a rush to get my clothes back on at my girlfriend's house at the sound of her parents opening the front door, I forgot to take the condom off. Her dad watched it fall out of my pant leg and onto the kitchen floor. FML
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, I saw my roommate walk out of his room into the kitchen with a used condom in his hand, and plop it into the garbage disposal. "I don't really trust this girl" is all he said before he opened his door and walked back into his room. FML
Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
I hope you are not one of those people who buy the "large" size condoms when the regular will do fine. They should not be falling off.
RichardPencil 32
Your roommate thinks you ****** her male cat (albeit safely)? Yeah, you’d better move out!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (13)
Ksweety_fml 27
If this true, I think it's ridiculous that she's kicking you out because of that.. smh .. .. it's not that deep.
RichardPencil 32
Your roommate thinks you ****** her male cat (albeit safely)? Yeah, you’d better move out!
Mungolikecandy 19
I hope you are not one of those people who buy the "large" size condoms when the regular will do fine. They should not be falling off.
Aphrodite 20
How did it fall off when you pulled out? that doesn’t make sense. Was it too big? and how did you not see the cat pick it up? none of this adds up.
RichardPencil 32
Sometimes she’s still gripping it as he pulls out. It happens.
pscool 11
The first comment was right on the one thing you should buy your roommate a new nice duvet cover (it goes over a comforter) and or have hers professionally cleaned. Statistically condoms coming off during sex is actually quite common usually occurs when The guy finishes maybe a little too early and decides to keep going. The penis then starts to become flaccid(starts loss blood flow and it shrinks back to normal size) allowing the condom get loss and fall off. Even sometimes staying inside the ****** and needing to be fished out even sometimes needing to be removed by Dr. OP needs to learn how to use condoms you’ve got a couple options here. Option one when you finish pull out start for playing again Remove used condom put new condom on once you get hard again. Two if you want to little extra time reach down with your hand and hold onto the base of the condom and the base of your shaft. Preventing either of these things from happening. Worst case order Asian condoms they are smaller then normal American size condoms.
zuckerburg 21
Your roommate sounds like a **** who doesn't know her own cat or cats in general. I'd recommend moving out anyway. With that much stupid in your vicinity you might get affected, and next time THINK you have a condom meanwhile knocking some random girl up
alicelouise66 5
ydi because this was so badly written.