Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
He's probably seen worse things if he goes to people's houses often.
Emma1562 35
That sucks but it'll be a funny story to tell
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Comments (59)
LyricaSilvan 30
So the cable guy knows you had sex. I'm not sure I see what the issue is. People have sex. It's not like it's a big deal.
fashionbug9880 22
It's not knowing that they had sex that's gross, it's that the used condom is right there. That's like them finding your used underwear or a sex toy.
invadermaythe1st 35
I guess you're a pornstar now?
Ramb0 20
Dude thats so nasty!!!!!!!
geekpower_fml 28
That cat must be so proud of itself. This is the sort of thing they love for.
geekpower_fml 28
*live for
girllostinmind 6
*Plot Twist* You're a virgin and your boyfriend "works" 10 hrs. a day.
Icefire9461 7
What even?!
HotFrosty 14
Trust me. I used to do installations and we see much worse. When you are in someone's home you see all the things that people hide in public.
weatherxveins 29
Sounds like you need to write some FMLs..
wow2mylife 25
now I'm more curious in what things... never mind I probaly don't want to know
HunterI64 5
Wellll...there are worse problems to be had lol
joelp232 17
take pride in your sexual conquests
zobara 29
Yeah, sure, the cat did it...
TheNewGuy03 29
The cable guy was probably thinking, "Aw sookie, sookie now," all while your blood pressure elevated to astronomical levels. Great story.