Today, a guy came to install a modem in my apartment. He needed to get to the jack behind my TV stand, so I helped him move it. Once the stand was moved, I saw a used condom that was hidden underneath. My cat must have pulled it out of my garbage weeks ago. There's no way the guy didn't see it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left, I couldn't find it. I saw my roommate cat's with it, so I chased him and he escaped. My roommate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and doesn't believe me. I might have to move out. FML
Today, my girlfriend's mother called her in the bedroom for a serious talk. I overheard them arguing and yelling at each other. It turns out her mother found a condom next to her garbage. We got caught because her cat swallowed the condom and threw it up. FML
Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML
Today, at my appliance job, we received a used dryer that needed to be fixed. I took it in the back room to test it. I plugged it in and turned it on. It started to smell so bad that I went to shut it down, but before I did I see two used condoms fly out of the back vent. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called him down. He came running down the stairs with a used condom in his mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. He put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML
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Top comments
feven 32
He's probably seen worse things if he goes to people's houses often.
Emma1562 35
That sucks but it'll be a funny story to tell
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Comments (59)
Emma1562 35
That sucks but it'll be a funny story to tell
Unlovable_Me 14
It'll be a funny story for the guy to tell too
ohjoy15 33
Yeah exactly and you'll probably never see that installation guy again so it's not as bad as it could be.
feven 32
He's probably seen worse things if he goes to people's houses often.
walid820014 20
IKR ?!
JMichael 26
I'm sure the guy has probably seen worse. But hey it made a good FML story!
LPac5295 27
On the bright side he knows you're taken and not to flirt with you.
The12thPaladin 8
Or how about this... maybe the guy wasn't planning on flirting because maybe he's already taken or he just wants to get the job done ans get payed? Not every guy flirts with every woman they see.
fashionbug9880 22
You don't have to be taken to practice safe sex, you know. Anyone can have sex regardless of relationship status. Even if that was the case, it was an old condom. She could've used it with her boyfriend weeks ago and they could've broken up. We can't assume anything.
ChippyChoppy 21
Well, that must've been awkward.
_imacooldude_ 10
Always be sure to clean everything when people like that cum over... Haha
gamermonster 34
Pls leave
Ramb0 20
just get out and take your shit puns with you
CogadhTallon 16
sounds like you've got a naughty pussy! Edit: Cat, I meant the damn cat!
girllostinmind 6
You and your boyfriend should put it in the bottom.
Apogea 10
Not sure if the FML is about not having sex in weeks or the condom being on the floor!
girllostinmind 6
Both. Both very, very tragic. So tragic Barney Stinson couldn't help. (How I Met Your Mother)
fashionbug9880 22
They didn't say that they hadn't had sex in weeks, just that the cat took that particular condom from a few weeks ago.
disasterlydeed 26
Look on the bright side, a used condom is probably considered tame to him compared to the other stuff he's probably seen at other people's houses