Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Today, my cat has a new hobby: She goes fishing. As in she catches the frogs out of the ornamental pond, then walks into my freshly mopped kitchen with dripping wet, muddy feet. FML
Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, a water snake slithered into our pool. He can have it. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Today, my 3-year-old daughter put her grow-in-water salamander in my fish tank. The residue from the toy gummed up the filter and killed all the fish. FML
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Top comments
SShelbyy 1
He's her prince charming :)
MetallicaRules19 4
poor frog! dont be a bitch and kill it!
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Comments (176)
4Lonely2Stoner0 0
That's nothing, we had a wolf spider almost as large as my hand living in our hot tub.
Xxak907xX 0
Just kill it, toss it's body out, and tell your daughter it ran off to a magical fairy land
Xxak907xX 0
Ehhh just kidding, I wouldn't kill it....I would catch it and toss it in my backyard. And that's when you tell her that it's in magical fairy land
Ozma_fml 0
Wow I hope your daughter manages to stay a decent person and you don't start influencing her.
hellosir23 0
hey! I've seen a frog before!
docscientist 10
Maybe he lives in Antarctica.
UnprecendentedAw 0
Or a net may work you idiot. Way to give up at the first sign of effort being required.
TempestRain 0
You are sick!
darkmis1 18
Get an animal control officer to put the froggie in a cage for her. That way he'll be in his own little aquarium in her room, and you get your hot tub back.....after you clean it.
Eorlas 31
boil him??? youre literally insane. go get mental help!
darkmis1 18
What if she laid eggs? You could have 100 frogs in there tomorrow!
asnakelovinbabe 16
I think it is REALLY sad how far removed from nature some people are... when you say things like "ewwww a frog gross kill it!" it shows how uneducated and childish you really are... I mean come on... sack up it's a ******* frog. The lack of respect for wildlife in general the majority of people demonstrate on this site and elsewhere is what will be the death of our own species in the future. The world is going to shit because of the little things... like the whiny brat that posted this FML. It's never okay to be afraid of something just because you don't understand it.