Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was backpacking, and I was in a tent. It had rained all day and finally, I was dry. I settled down in my slightly damp sleeping bag. I woke up halfway through the night with a frog on my face and my feet in freezing cold water. Our tent had drifted into a frog pond. FML
Today, as a frog biologist I was out in the field searching for a relatively rare frog species. After three hours I finally heard the frog call and I crept closer and closer to the sound until... squish... I stepped on the very frog I was trying to collect. They're endangered. FML
Today, a frog made my hot tub his new home. I can't stand frogs and he moves lightening fast. I think the only way to get rid of him is to turn the heat on and boil him. Which I would do if my daughter didn't already adore him. FML
Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML
Today, I found the carcass of the frog that got into my house last week. It was a horrifying sight, but not nearly as horrifying as the fact that I found it in my refrigerator. No, I don't know how it got in there either. FML
Today, my cat has made a habit of waking me and my husband up every morning by meowing in front of our bedroom door until we get up. This morning, I finally got her to stop, so I went back to bed hoping to sleep in for a while… Only to be kept awake by my husband’s snoring. FML
Today, I got chased by a duck. Not just any duck, the same duck that has chased me every morning for a week. I’m starting to think it has a personal vendetta against me. FML
Today, I woke up feeling crabby because of lack of sleep. I noticed what woke me up, it was man's best friend. He kept moving around and wouldn't stop rotating in circles to get comfy. I told him to lay down and he looked at me, did another circle and lowered down, butthole first on my forehead. FML
Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML
Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Passion4Makeup 4
Easy. Kill the damn thing.
zah_ali 3
Just wait till he croaks it. Then you're golden! :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (180)
zah_ali 3
Just wait till he croaks it. Then you're golden! :D
Iamnotmyself 17
-1 And then if you can't beat it, eat it.
Alwayspullout 7
Kill it. Problem solved.
CommenSense 0
How about Sending the frog to hell or heaven all ur probs will be solved
IndiRae 9
Grab it, get in your car, drive for a while to a distant bridge, throw it off the edge into the water, and pray to god it doesn't come hopping down your stairs soaking wet when you get back home.
Iamnotmyself 17
-28 That's what my dad did to me! He sure was surprised when I came home that night with my unicorn Steve.
L3Paparazzo 7
The Frog is mindfucking you !!!
LiveLaughFML 10
gosh #31. first it's Gary, then it's flockz, now it's Steve? you three-timing hoe!
Iamnotmyself 17
-38 Steve is a unicorn, he could give himself a *******. I swear I did NOT do anything with him... That beaver on the side of the river, that's a different story.
meganannee 0
28- That exact scene happened in the old ' the changeling' :O except it was a ball
IndiRae 9
Wow, 50. What a wacky coincidence!
free2speak 14
Try kissing it... if he shape shifts into a prince you're good to go. Oh wait.. I think I got enchanted and TruBlood mixed up. On the other hand, I've always wanted Sam to turn into a frog and wait for some naive girl to kiss him and in that exact moment turn in Sam again. Would be damn funny.
EvilPotato 15
I say the frog is a evil mastermind that made duplications of himself so that each time you throw him away a new one takes his spot. I know because I planned it.
yourshootingstar 4
Lol I like how they take the frog and place it somewhere else and it comes back. The frog came back the very next day!
Damn_Hippster 11
Kill the frog and eat it's legs, then hang the head on your door to warn off the other frogs!
8rabido8 11
Smh... Owned by a frog...
gntfmlingnow 12
I don't know what your local gun laws are, buuut... I think you get my idea
farhil 14
81... Good observations...
SCREAM4meeee 0
the frog's smarter than the OP..
freakinglaugher 10
Let's hope to god the frogs aren't teaming up with the garden gnomes...
freakinglaugher 10
Let's hope to god the frogs aren't teaming up with the garden gnomes...
fmlham 0
wut
middlekid2 5
Kill it?
My_Name_Is_ 5
Throw a rock at it...that usually works even if you miss.
ArielTheMermaid 17
Throw it in a pond and RUUUUN!
JTHolloway200 0
the frog is a stalker
hellbilly205 17
Kill it!
daysgoby902 6
once the frog is gone you'll need it to sleep
Takador 3
Big deal its ONE FROG, in here every night there are FUCKLOADS of Coquís singing. In EVERY corner of the Island. Kkthnxbbye;)
StoryOfTheYear 15
BOOM headshot
TheresNoEffingwa 7
Kill it.
Passion4Makeup 4
Easy. Kill the damn thing.
baconstrips 12
How dare you, frogs are cool :)
Honeyes 0
Exactly!
Eggers 2
rip it's croaker out
sxe_beast 11
Have some frog legs and sleep well.
sxe_beast 11
Have some frog legs and sleep well.
xstaticdelta 6
genius
baconftw 9
That's what shotguns are for ;)
NoobHat 6
Sadly, PETA would start campaign against the OP of they killed the frog.
jkrist 7
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I get great pleasure out of throwing frogs in the air and watching them cripple to the ground. That usually takes care of them :)
shadowmossm 0
Just kill it
reptileguy1296 0
Well if the OP waits, they'll learn to ignore it. This is called the lullaby effect.
tylersign 11
Is that what you do, 4, go out and "just kill" frogs?
Rawket_Lawnchair 0
Yeah, killing it is definitely not the smartest option when it comes to getting enough sleep. Because if you do, the world is going to end. Good lord, stop being such *******.
Naggerass 1
Yeah who the **** cares? It's one frog.
dapperdan18 0
It's an omen! Lol
free2speak 14
Probably a hint that OP is possessed. The Rite, anyone?
b1gphil 6
just kill it
belleisswell 0
Mean.
Livzii 5
croak back at it
drealmorales 2
Meant to be, maybe he's a prince. :D
BOOSCAREDU 0
Kiss the frog OP, kiss it.
emmas03 0
More committing than my husband.
peachesbeach 0
an fml reply to this fml...
annajane 0
Don't kill it!!! Just get an aquarium and keep it ;D
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Then the croaking would be in OP's house. Not such a bright idea...
MagicallyFat 12
Don't kill him. Maybe he wants a friend bring him in and feed him all the crickets his little heart desires