Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML
Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML
Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML
Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML
Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML
Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on Facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML
Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML
Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML
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Top comments
jonr93 0
That....... is an issue.
lettertjes 0
That sucks, but I love how you phrased it.
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Comments (109)
oogumboogum 0
damn assumptions!
spiderman0606 0
There are no assumptions. Either you get his friend banged his chick or you're a moron.
christfollower 0
damn u guys must have it off hard that night but u totally deserve it cuz u knew he was more drunk than you
fits138 0
drinking is no excuse. that's shitty. I sorry. I see by your username you kicked her to the curb and I hope you are no longer friends with him...
strawberry6826 0
lol
okieraider71 4
That's why Oklahoma is a "Carry" state. Shoot his ass and then say you didn't really mean it.
kaitlinQ 0
what gappeded?
browncow5251995 0
Damn!
ayylash 0
OP, we need clarification. Did your buddy bone you or your girlfriend?
MrMaD_fml 2
"single now" isn't clear enough for you?
MrMaD_fml 2
Occam's razor!
polarbare 0
Single now could mean, he was gay all along. OP bf got totally pissed because he got to OP phone first that AM.
michael666 7
fallout 3 reference!
Grnfrogs8 0
O.o I don't get it...?
xx_kaelen_xx 0
I don't get it...... :/??