Today, my friends thought it would be funny to yell out, "Pass the bong, Emma!" while I was on the phone to my mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my angry ex-girlfriend ordered a bong to my house in my name. I came home to my parents screaming at me, demanding to know where "the weed" was. FML
Today, I was with my mom and my boyfriend at lunch. My phone rings and my mom excitedly says "You have friends!" As I'm about to answer it, she pulls out her phone from under the table and says "Kidding, it's just me." My boyfriend starts cracking up, and they exchange a high five. FML
Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML
Today, at work, whilst on hold with an important client, I said to my co-workers, "Fucking hell, this woman sounds high as a kite." I heard a cough on the other end of the phone. All calls are recorded. FML
Today, a classmate's mother called my phone, threatening to have my dorm room raided for drugs. Why? She saw our text messages discussing where he would pick up the textbook I borrowed and thought it was the new "code name" for weed. FML
Today, I was talking on the phone to my crush so I went into the bathroom for some privacy. My drunk mother started banging on the door, asking what I was doing in there. I told her that I was on the phone, so she yelled super loud, "While you're shitting?" He immediately hung up. FML
Today, my phone rang just seconds after I left a conference meeting to go use the restroom. It wouldn't have been a problem, except it seems one of my friends thought it would be funny to change my ringtone to a woman having an orgasm. FML
Today, my mother went through my bag and found what she thought was rolling papers. I was yelled at and called a stupid pothead with no future. They were facial blotting papers. FML
Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML
Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML
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Top comments
stinkytruck 0
better than " spread them wider baby"
socaldgaf69 0
haha who gives a shit my friends say that all the time. that's Nothing to post about so stop bitching YDI
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Comments (154)
stinkytruck 0
better than " spread them wider baby"
ilovechuux13 0
did you pass it then?
Averizzle 0
I do that all the timerxceptI say in agirlish voice " Honey are you coming back to bed?" Lol
thecbake4 0
What a dick move on your friends' part.
Averizzle 0
Wow fail I meant except and I**..
mexicantumblewee 0
no pass ME the bong Emma!!!
albinomustang 0
when it's my friends I say "pull ur pants up!!!!"
Secret_Fire_King 0
And the FML is??? Are your parents seriously that retarded, that they are going to nag you and hold interventions for you and give you free pamphlets?? Me and my friends do stuff like this to eachother all the time.. but then again, sometimes we are doing the wrong thing, when we're on the phone..
reyemrein 0
^ This. FMLs have been really watered down lately....
mn_mpls 0
definetly ydi for not passing that bong before you got on the phone. ur lucky it wasn't a blunt so it was extinguished
c0nfuzzled 0
ahahaha, my friends do that all the time except with "Come back to bed!"
llcooljoey 0
I heard this one already buy it never gets old
cali_girl11 0
andddddddd?
asianwolf 2
I'm in highschool and that happens to me all the time.
Reyo 2
Your friends are awesome. One time, we were all at the movies when one of my friends called his really conservative parents to check in. About halkway through the conversation, we all leaned in and said "Honey come back to bed, the lube's getting dry" in a gay accent.
Paradotical 0
you look like a douch bag
kas782000 0
pass it here next
surfluvr44 0
hey at least your friends dont scream "**** me harder!!" while ur on da fone, and your not 13 :)
FYLDeep 26
I hope you made them get up and get the bong themselves.
dc113 0
yea dats wat u get for bogartin it
choiboy118 0
sex noises r the shit when ppl r on the fone
aeloata2 0
LOL I agree!
ninidunut 0
Haha my friend did this but he just said pass us the weed ;)
underpaid011 0
if your mom knows what a bong is - she also has one. suggest that you each compare stash to see who has the better hook up
Scoli85 0
@#2. Are you suggesting that anyone who knows any specific type of drug paraphernalia must own it otherwise they wouldn't know what it is? You're an idiot.
underpaid011 0
no - not any type of drug consuming device, just bongs. for example, crack pipe is pretty much a crack pipe. everyone knows that. bongs are typically reserved for pot. pot is a common drug. I know many old people (in their 60s and up) who will blaze up. so they would not only know, they could build you one from sticks and rubber bands.
cucuto89 0
Build a bong from Sticks and Rubber bands? I've never heard of that one
Monikabug 9
Orrrr they could just not be completely retarded. Pretty sure there are plenty of old people in the world who know WHAT a bong is and NOT own one. ;l
mtull08 0
Dude, you're a dumbass
SlackR 0
I agree with number 1
CannibalGuy 0
Yeah seriously how is this a problem? Unless you have some crazy-ass mother who actually believes whatever your friends shout when you're on the phone... Stuff like this happens to me all the time, but it's not like whoever i'm on the phone with takes it seriously. Edit: Yeah this is definitely just MLIA, not FML.
PsychoMerk 0
well.... let's jus say your friends mistook the vase for one :3
socaldgaf69 0
haha who gives a shit my friends say that all the time. that's Nothing to post about so stop bitching YDI
Bamfy_McBamf 0
same. i was just wondering if it was weird that this sounded normal to me =)
pitbullmom 0
yeah, this sounds pretty normal, i've even had a friend yell for me to get off the phone cuz we were killing the sacrificial goat * shrug* my mom just told me to have fun
ImaginaryFoe 1
Maybe her parents are strict or don't have a sense of humour. Mine are generally cool but they would have flipped out and I would've gotten the "if they act like that, they're not really your friends" lecture.
LOL97_fml 0
hahah yah ik my friends do that ALL THE TIME
EwahWeeWah 21
chill, wow.
dacho 7
lol me and my friends always do that xD
RobD5160 0
How is this intimacy?
pitbullmom 0
maybe it was a special kind of bong.......
LforLove 0
like what 78, billabong?
pitbullmom 0
well could be a dong bong since this fml was put under intimacy........
jawman 0
it was put under miscellaneous dumb ass
TheBananaTheif 0
130, you're stupid. The FML was origionally put under "Intimacy," and they changed it to miscellanious.
KurouTenshi 0
remember: puff, puff, pass; repeat. :) it's just good manners.
trizzieb 0
Well done. That's what friends are for, right?
jj79242 0
you're just mad u got caught ;) high fiiiive to the friends