Today, a few weeks after moving in with my boyfriend, I borrowed his phone to Google something because mine was dead. His most recent searches? "How kill cat", "Kill cat laws", "Cat + poison". I thought he was ok with my cat when I moved in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved into my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML
Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
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Top comments
DonULFonso 22
Do some Google searches on "how to kill boyfriend", "murder laws", and "best poisons hard to detect"... and be nice to your boyfriend: surprise him with a cake, offer him coffee, cook him something nice...
Cbnotme 20
Ummmmm.... Confront him about it, because that's ****** up!
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Comments (99)
Aethereal 14
Weird as it might be, you can't always assume anything out of search histories. I know mine tends to be pretty incriminating because I: A) Write occasionally crime-filled fiction and do research for it. B) Work as a programmer, and in order to make my own creations secure, research all kinds of vulnerabilities.
Aethereal 14
-> All I'm saying is that things in search history don't necessarily imply that a person would actually ever do something along the lines in real life.
DanielleinDC 34
I'm guessing he's neither of the two. And why would it be specific to cats? OP needs to screenshot the searches, text or email them to herself, and get the hell out of dodge.
Monica_J 7
ummmm, that's not ok
kikimiko 7
Leave!! Honestly to kill an innocent animal raises serious red flags.
itsalie 19
Ok, so I'm not saying that the cat should die, all I'm saying is that all of u immediately blame the guy who searched how to get rid of the cat! She should have made sure that he was ok with it!!!!!! pets are a huge responsibility to take care of the guy shouldn't have to deal with that if he didnt want the cat.
TheLadyOpal 30
If he really didn't want the cat, he should have been honest with her and said so before she moved in.
Kondor017 9
Hey, the search history could've been worse.....
Luzeamus_fml 7
Mmmhh... Psycho alert ! Get away now !
Thelostwillow 9
Confront him in a public place, I'm only saying this because if he IS willing to do that then who knows what he'd do if he got upset. If things don't go well and you feel unsafe stay at a friend's house with your kitty. Stay safe.
Artures_way1 23
Move out! Now!
necklacethief 23
I had a quick look and thought he already killed your cat! Seriously, break up with him or ding him therapy.
Witchylady 18
Dump him. He is serial killer in the making