Today, a few weeks after moving in with my boyfriend, I borrowed his phone to Google something because mine was dead. His most recent searches? "How kill cat", "Kill cat laws", "Cat + poison". I thought he was ok with my cat when I moved in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved into my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML
Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML
Today, I moved in with my boyfriend. Up until now, I thought my cat was the only four year-old I had to deal with. FML
Today, I found out why my girlfriend has been angry with me ever since I moved in with her. Apparently, she is pissed that I taught her cat how to play fetch and keep treating him like a dog. FML
Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML
Today, I brought my boyfriend to my house for the first time. He freaked out when he saw my cat, and had to leave because he's allergic. I've posted many pictures of my cat in Instagram, but he didn't say anything about his allergy because he thought it was just a random cat. FML
Today, to celebrate moving into a new apartment, my girlfriend decided she would get a kitten. She didn't know I'm allergic to cats. When I told her, she decided that she couldn't date someone who couldn't be around her cat; the one she doesn't have yet. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML
Today, my boyfriend became convinced that I cheated on him, and broke up with me, saying he would "get me back." When I came home, I found his key on my counter and my cat missing. FML
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Top comments
DonULFonso 22
Do some Google searches on "how to kill boyfriend", "murder laws", and "best poisons hard to detect"... and be nice to your boyfriend: surprise him with a cake, offer him coffee, cook him something nice...
Cbnotme 20
Ummmmm.... Confront him about it, because that's ****** up!
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Comments (99)
Cbnotme 20
Ummmmm.... Confront him about it, because that's ****** up!
FML_HelloItsMe 15
FYL op.Ask him,"How did my cat die?" 2-3 times a day.This shall make him guilty enough to tell you the truth.Ask him the reason too.
organizse 28
Yeah... Time to call the police.
luvlu444 24
Consider therapy, that ain't normal
The_Avatar 22
Cat murderer!!!!!!
DonULFonso 22
Do some Google searches on "how to kill boyfriend", "murder laws", and "best poisons hard to detect"... and be nice to your boyfriend: surprise him with a cake, offer him coffee, cook him something nice...
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
Better still, do some Google searches on "how to kill boyfriend", "murder laws", and "best poisons hard to detect"... and wait for a SWAT team to come swinging in through your windows!
Jacqueline G Mackay 10
bad idea, he could "Gone girl" her ???
Le_ponderer 14
Flee OP. Just move to Sri Lanka. You are currently with a loon.
pradip 26
Why Sri Lanka? It's a ****** up country in itself
EnvyShadow 3
The original of this that was in the moderation section had no mention that her cat actually died, it said 'I borrowed his phone to Google something because mine was dead.'
Jiratias 36
What a fantastic douchebag. He obviously does not respect you and your feelings enough to be your boyfriend... and your cat really did not deserve that
KyleRen 13
This is either a murder or a really bad prank