Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML
Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML
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Top comments
gyoopiy 0
Does it?
jswizzle_ 6
Now you have left us all wondering.
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Comments (267)
the_huldra 1
I really want a kit kat bar now...
Ray_of_midnight 23
Should have replied "Yeah but not the upholstery" like in the XKCD comic.
hanghimXD 0
Aha that guy is low -_-
PapSmearNinja 4
chicks with a little bit of hair down their is sexy. like a little runway strip but not like narnia
nibh 0
Smart kid
perdix 31
Tell him "I got Pergo" and then let him try to figure that out.
bawlerr75 9
Hey at least he's cute;)
smiller0789 3
That was certainly crude and tactless, but not really FML-worthy
roadracer39 5
EmmyBabe, I love the way you think
texas_redneck88 10
do they match?? or is there no carpet?