Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML
Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML
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Top comments
gyoopiy 0
Does it?
jswizzle_ 6
Now you have left us all wondering.
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Comments (267)
gyoopiy 0
Does it?
number0 8
Does it matter?
Mysanitywins 10
Of course it matters! Details!
gyoopiy 0
Would you want to do blue hairs?
SNL 2
She shouldve replied, "In color and in length ;)" that would have turned him away
koe4 0
she could have double rainbow pubes
gyoopiy 0
I bet we could find some white gold.
Keyman1212 14
Methinks I'd rather the carpet be non existent.
danielleeycakes 3
I get this question way too often.
koe4 0
32 or groomed into the shape of something hilarious.
Iamnotmyself 17
My rule: If it moves, it doesn't matter how furry it is.
duckman9 55
My money is on hardwood flooring! I never liked carpets...
ItsTheKing 10
- 32 Do you prefer your women having Hard Wood floors?
Keyman1212 14
If there's grass on the field, play ball. If there's no grass, make mud.
StoryOfTheYear 15
32- But that would take Shag out of Shagging :(
BrimfullOfAsher 20
Ask the guy, "Are you as thick down there," pointing at his crotch "as you are up there?" pointing to his head.
1greatsk8er 0
He could be bald?
RileyL29 0
"I wonder if the carpet matches the pubes" - Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Haha
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
47-Are you a MILF?
StoryOfTheYear 15
92- Someone being a MILF is an opinion, not a question
Randuhh_17 4
Maybe if he would've used drapes instead of curtains, he would've got an answer... got to be classy with these situations...
danielleeycakes 3
No, I just used random numbers when I set my birth date. I'm younger than my profile says.
imustbeinsane 2
Who has carpets anymore?
dre_bro11 12
109, you mean you're younger than -65 years of age?
welandedonthemoo 5
Nice
FFPulley 9
Carpet sucks! Gotta have shined floors. Better to eat off of!
Llamassss 21
61- I've always liked, "if there's no grass on the field, play in the mud."
christianmary182 0
I definitely didn't get this FML until I read the comments... FML
j_cat187 20
It must be soft and long I color doesn't matter.
j_cat187 20
It must be soft and long I color doesn't matter.
nerdfighteria 7
88- Where you replying to 82? Because I'm pretty sure he meant "thick", as in "not very bright". Not a thick head of hair . . .
theschmidt108 0
a men
THETRAIN 0
Mabey your granddaughter but not you
THETRAIN 0
Directed at 47
yankfan89 27
Mine is in the shape of the Batman symbol
ducttapewallet 7
Nobody else asks that? I must be out of the loop...
leogzz 0
Do they???? Lol
godamnitmotagain 16
yes.
xxsakuraxx 29
Girls who don't like razor rash on their private parts! And even when you don't get razor rash it still itches and you get a shit ton of ingrown hairs. That hurts!
Catkam623 27
Greatest comment wver
gators1995 30
Heard this phrase before but I don't understand the meaning behind it
SaniK 17
Yes
koe4 0
hot
HowAreYouToday 34
Not
koe4 0
crotch
gigitygo15 4
classic..
jswizzle_ 6
Now you have left us all wondering.
clewie 8
It says she's a natural blonde.
Jacobt24 19
The guy probably meant if it was well groomed like her hair.
MrleClochard 4
29 - Nope.
Jacobt24 19
Yeah you could be right. I've never seen blonde pubic hair. It's always dark brown or black. I still don't see why the guy cares. That's why I thought the other thing.
Enslaved 38
Pubic hair is normally the same shade as their eyebrows. And their nipples are usually the same shade as their lips (both) Yes, I've done research. Lol
Jacobt24 19
I just took the time to test both those claims. They're true haha. I'll never look at eyebrows the same again.
sammystayz 0
wow.
zinoxity 23
67 - Then explain white skin colored Latin people with dark brown (almost black) nipples who also have pinkish lips?
jizzwold 21
112- those exist?
Bobissmall 13
He did say usually.
sly161 0
he probably ment the curtains int the bar:)
zinoxity 23
124 - Uh yeah? -.-
BB_ava 0
What a bawwwwwwwwwws.
Emmy_The_Great 2
...Excuse me?
zachherbert 10
I think he's meaning boss... But who the **** knows on fml anymore?
davidisbeast 12
Lol what a perv ... Just forget that guy ... All he wants is to get in your pants :P
Mysanitywins 10
-thinks- I wonder what gave that away?
ItsTheKing 10
^The part where he complemented her hair :D
a_nutritionist 10
the part where a guy came up to her in a bar. what is it about desperate women that they think bars are the place to meet someone for anything other than a quick encounter...?
Soloman212 28
Yeah! Don't they understand that the real world is for desperate people, and that they should stick to Internet dating?!
jizzwold 21
5- you just described every mans motive for everything
a_nutritionist 10
ah yes 113, bars or the internet are the only way to meet people. thats EXACTLY the point i was trying to make and in no way is it stupid at all.
crazychick1269 7
and that's bad cuz???
davidisbeast 12
Not every mans ... Some men in this world have some manners and respect women ... While all the rest .... No comment
simplylost643 0
#181, since when does curiosity represent a lack of manners, and or a lack of respect? Although the information ( carpet vs drapes) is of a personal nature, it is no more disrespectful than a woman asking a man what he does for a living. Wanting to know whether a blonde persons pubic hair is also blonde doesn't make a man a pervert, just as a woman asking a mans profession should not label her a golddigging *****. Google curiosity if your still having issues.
wierd1919 0
^^^^ Your Username Is Jizzwold o.o Anyone See ANYTHING Wrong W/That ?
MrNewbie 3
Whats wrong with that???
Nederlander95 14
That IS generally what guys go to bars for
techweed 12
Actually, that was pretty clever. I had to think about it for a second before I realized what he meant.
regsworld11 2
You're just slow...
StoryOfTheYear 15
But they were 24 minutes quicker than yourself What does that make you? :o
Mipz 2
I didn't get it either. But then, I like to pretend every other word out of people's out is NOT something sexual.
regsworld11 2
I meant slow as in retarded, you meant slow as in time... Now what does that make YOU?
Sun_Kissed18 25
A person trying to make a sarcastic joke to be funny, and failing at it?
SittingInTheSky 6
Since when did she say that was the time she worked it out? that was the time she replied you ******* dumbass
XxCrazygirlxX 0
Perv. You should have bitch slapped him XD
J0gby 0
that is not polite, what a douche...
coffeeandcream 8
yeah sure...
leemurcat 5
Would you have preferred him saying, "Is the color of your pubic hair the same color as the hair on your head?"
Jaxx66 21
Nope. More preferred if the douche didn't expect to get in OP's pants automatically. Buuuut, since she was in a bar it's a YDI situation.
reallytho3 11
Ur picture COMPLETLY contradicts ur comment...
leemurcat 5
Not every person who goes to bars is a ****, you know
SittingInTheSky 6
What would you have done in the situation? i would've snogged him shitless then bitch slapped him till he cried.
j4gerb0mblitz 6
Obviously his two heads meet pretty well.
Michigan_Girl 0
What a creep! You should have threw your drink on him....but then again, there is no need to waste a perfectly good drink on such an ass.