Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I went to a party. He got drunk and started talking about how his hot blonde girlfriend gives him great blowjobs. I'm a brunette. FML
Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML
Today, I dyed my naturally-blonde hair dark brown. Upon seeing me, my boyfriend immediately wanted to have sex, because I now remind him of his favourite porn star. FML
Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML
Today, my bartender noticed my new haircut before my live-in boyfriend did. FML
Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML
Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML
Today, I flirted with the cashier at the local bagel joint. I complimented her unique blue hair and got her number. Later on that evening, she served my girlfriend and me our food at a different restaurant. FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML
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Top comments
gyoopiy 0
Does it?
jswizzle_ 6
Now you have left us all wondering.
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Comments (267)
Goobian 3
You should of said the only people that know are the people I let vacuum it. Then have a really awkward pause.
kristena103 14
What did he meant by that "does the carpet match the curtain" ?and no im not a blondie
candylishious765 0
He meant If her blonde hair(curtains) matched her carpet as in her pubes-_-
AyeeArieel 5
likee does your hair color match you ****** hair
Danij101 0
****** hair is carpet, hair on head is curtains... -___-
aligiorav 11
He was talking about her "exterior decorating"
a_nutritionist 10
@79 no, i dont think so. it wasnt hard to get in the first place. give it 30 more explanations and it might sink in.
suckM1KEHAWK 0
Hey #79 does the carpet match the drapes? ;)
Molzen 3
classy pickup line. xD
MagicallyFat 12
That guy isn't someone you'd wanna be dating. You can prob do so much better anyways
a_nutritionist 10
you assume he had any interest in dating her...
MagicallyFat 12
Yeah ur right lol
AyeeArieel 5
kinky ;)
Fountainel 0
They have to match, she's a natural blonde. Right? YOU LIAR!
Tristan_aust 11
Should of told him you wax. Then told him pity he'd never get to see.
DottieGothicGirl 3
Haha that hilarious!!
EarAcheMyEYE10 2
Wow... are you in high school or was he?
Mysanitywins 10
How are they? They both are age to drink...just stop please.
Im2Handsom 1
So what you say?
AnagenisisZagus 13
I agree, your life sucks.