Today, a coworker informed me that she thinks I may be descended from a race of goblins, because of my squat stature, ugly face and hairy arms. She was being completely serious. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML
Today, my coworker asked me to add her on Facebook. She has a common name, so I picked the one I thought was her. After no response for a while, I asked for the right spelling. She saw the one I thought was her and said, “I can’t believe you thought I was that ugly.” She wasn't joking. FML
Today, I decided to come out to a co-worker. She looked at me, then laughed, and said, "You can't be gay, you're fat!" FML
Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML
Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML
Today, after weeks of everyone at work avoiding me, I finally asked my coworker what was up. She informed me, “You’re 350lbs and try to dress like an office siren, it’s pathetic to look at.” FML
Today, I confided to my boyfriend that I have a condition that causes me to grow thick toe hair. He now won't stop calling me "the sexy Hobbit." FML
Today, the 6 year old girl I was babysitting asked me, "Why are you so ugly? Are you an alien? Because aliens are about as ugly as you are." FML
Today, at work, a weird old woman came up to me and told me that it's okay: being ugly isn't a choice, it's nothing to be ashamed of, and that it's what inside that counts. She then hugged me and walked away. FML
Today, an overweight coworker of mine was saying that her favorite mythical creatures was Mermaids, because she considers them graceful, carefree and aesthetically beautiful, like her. I absentmindedly blurted out, “Not with that body.” The word “Sorry” didn’t cut it for the write up I received. FML
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Top comments
Sunako_fml 9
Tell her that you think she descended from a race of bitches.
Levvy 22
Here's how to know for sure: Do people get experience points for hitting you?
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Comments (147)
tony1891 22
well looking on the bright side. you won't have to spend money on a Halloween costume. you can go to your Co workers house and scare the ever loving shit out of him.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Eat her
subwaysurfers 13
No no no....that is the zombies' job.
Snazzy_Snaz 17
Who said goblins don't eat people?
saIty 17
Don't listen to her OP. I'm sure she looks like something you drew with your nondominant hand.
hothotheat_ 13
Unless, of course, OP is ambidextrous.
gbengusoluks 3
She must be one those rude peeps that have no manners!!!
Pandacupcakelove 26
Rather a goblin than a mean bitch... I'm sorry OP.
ImmaB3AST 7
At least you occasionally drop clue scrolls. You help people receive treasure! It's not bad at all being a goblin
NOOBSQUAD 0
Maybe you should wear make up, trim your arm hair, and walk a few miles everyday, so that one day you can be a beautiful fairy.
KitGrey 4
Trim? Won't it just grow back worse? Bleach and save up for laser treatment.
NOOBSQUAD 0
Trim as in use scissors to cut them shorter
Pandacupcakelove 26
Or she could try to love herself for who she is? Nevermind, seems people don't really do that...
NOOBSQUAD 0
You could but in a society based purely on looks, it might not do what you think it will.
Pandacupcakelove 26
"Society based purely on looks"? Where are you from?
NOOBSQUAD 0
Do people marry someone because they have a great personality, but are very unatractive, or because they have good looks, and a decent personality, hardly any society based on personality in there, is there?
childishfears 12
Wow, some people!
brianjman14 23
Goblins don't have hairy arms though... She may have been thinking of dwarves.
lonkite101 14
Tell her she's a nažgûl