Today, I’ve been faking an Italian accent and said my name was Alessandro to impress a girl I was seeing. My plan was going well, until on a date at the mall, I heard, “Travis, what are you doing? Why are you talking like that?” It was my mom. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I discovered I was at the same restaurant as my ex and his new girlfriend. Quickly, I picked up my mother's phone when she wasn't looking, and began to pretend to talk to a fake new boyfriend. Few seconds later, the waiter loudly asked me if I was done talking into the calculator. FML
Today, while working alone, I decided to just try some random impressions, and so I ended up doing a French accent when a customer walked in. To avoid embarrassment, I had to continue faking the accent as he struck up a long conversation with me. FML
Today, I found out my mom pretended to be me and had AIM conversations with my boyfriend. FML
Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML
Today, while at the store with my mom, we ran into the girl I recently confessed to being interested in. My mom decided to shout, "IS THAT HER?! IS THAT THE GIRL YOU LIKE?!" Embarrassed, I desperately told her to be quiet. She grounded me for being "rude" to her. FML
Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really like. He brought up that there was a person staring at us from a nearby table. That person was my mom. FML
Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML
Today, my best friend and I went to the movies. There was a hot cashier, so I thought it would be cool to talk in a British accent to try and be sexy. I walked up and started talking when he interrupted me and said in a very heavy British accent, "I know you're faking. You can stop now." FML
Today, I was busy going over wedding plans with my fiancé, when my mother called. Apparently, she wants me to "drop the joke" about this "fake engagement", because she was under the impression I was only dating a white guy to piss her and dad off, and was now getting carried away with it. FML
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Top comments
Anderling 33
If you can’t get the girl on your own without lying then maybe you shouldn’t be trying.
QueenSaru 28
What was the whole plan here? Pretend to be Italian for the next 60 years if the relationship panned out?
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Comments (6)
Anderling 33
If you can’t get the girl on your own without lying then maybe you shouldn’t be trying.
RichardPencil 32
"You're not-a my mamma mia! I'm Alessandro! Spaghetti Lamborghini Puccini Gucci Linguini Spumoni Arduino (and as many Italian words you can throw to prevent getting ****-blocked.)
QueenSaru 28
What was the whole plan here? Pretend to be Italian for the next 60 years if the relationship panned out?
TwoBytesCarley 27
My guess is OP’s in middle of high school, going on a date at the mall is a pretty big indicator.
BloodyButUnbowed 32
My guess is that the "relationship" would only last until he banged her.
RichardPencil 32
That would make a great sit-com! Especially when the family goes to Italy and "Alessandro" talks to the natives in Italian-accented English. (As a side note, we had a Swedish exchange student who said he forgot Swedish when he returned after a year!)
wrenavery90 12
On a date at the mall???
BurnInDemonFire 39
Well you'll never live this down.
lexxiasaurus 31
and we see why lying will never get us anywhere