Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
emodrew 0
agree with #9... how do condoms expire????
emodrew 0
Hi, I wrote # 170, and just wanted to say: Thanks to #21 who KINDLY answered the question....unlike 34, 47, etc
KorbenDeck 5
get a hooker
myfairyoshi_fml 0
#25 you win at life.......... XD
Burner2K0 0
Lol @ #7 Im 15 and a virgin and I know ppl my that lost it and I'm not crying over it, well I think about it but who cares, WAIT BUDDY!!!!!!
ericabella18 0
at least you're safe from diseases and stuff like that i guess ? hahaaaa #7 & 24 to #174, you're 15 and you're comparing the fact that YOURE still a virgin to that fact that this twenty something guy is still a virgin? are all your friends *****? xD
56578 0
well, at least you won't get an STD? And, its not really as big a deal as some people make it.
oompaaa 0
do you still live at home? maybe thats you problem
larforever 0
hey your saving yourself, some girl will appreciate that one day ;) good for you, im proud
FMLfangirl89 0
ROFL! you're 23 and still a virgin? FYL cuz you suck at it. either that or reeeeeeeeally unfortunate looking and/or very fat.