Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
trapiadora 0
Wow you'll get laid sonner or later. and if not in about another 5 years you have another fml.lol
DaSn0r 0
I'm 18. I have never kissed a girl. I have never been on a date. I have like 10 female friends. I'm not gay either. I also have plenty of male friends. I just like enjoying time with people. Craving for sex is a thing teenagers do. Just try to enjoy life and don't think about it too much. Sex is just overrated and besides - you have your hands. If things get too difficult you can always pay someone to have sex with you. Friends are always better than girlfriends. Friendship lasts forever, but love lasts less than a life-time. You can always count on a good friend, but your lover might always cheat and leave you. Dedicate your life on more important stuff, like education, carreer, making money etc.
PyroMicky 0
140 has watched one too many episodes of 'Doc'. Dedicate your life on more important stuff like education, career and money making, so you can design a doomsday device with your new found education, do well as a dictator with all the right career moves and buy plenty of women with all the money you hoard.
Tarion 0
5 years since you cleaned your desk?
bbobe900000 0
haha lol #7 so you already had your first time! congrats! lol
Shadyblood 0
Damn dude!!! Im 15 and I already got laid!!!
sugarfixkid 0
hire a hooker? seriously how old are you...
banerkblue 0
So? It's just sex.
redbluegreen 41
Nothing wrong with being a virgin. I don't know any guys who can say they're a virgin anymore. It's a sad thing, because I don't see any of them in the same relationships they had when they lost it. It's not that hard to have sex, no, but if you're waiting for the right person, good for you.
mattmag 0
#32 I think I am your boyfriend. Stop holding out on me, it's getting old.