Today, I was cleaning out my bedside table when I came across some condoms I bought on my 18th birthday, to use the first time I had sex. They expired five years ago. I'm still waiting for my first time. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my friends were all talking about the first time they bought condoms. I can still remember the first time I bought them; in fact they are unopened and expired in my bedside table. FML
Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML
Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML
Today, I was cleaning out my room and picked up my bed and found a condom. I'm 15 and still a virgin. FML
Today, I had to throw away twenty condoms that were all expired, because that's how active my sex life is. FML
Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML
Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML
Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML
Today, I realized I bought 30 condoms last year. I now have 29. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Top comments
imajinethat 0
Well, the good news is, you just got ****** by life. :) Congrats.
Animati0n 0
So? It's not a bad thing.
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Comments (257)
aback 5
You may want to put just a little more effort into it. OTOH, I don't really care if you ever get laid or not.
XxXmichiXxX 0
wow
caprica_fml 0
Maybe try a Fleshlight whilst you wait.
babydoll86_fml 0
Oh honey, just go to a prostitute already. Seriously, sex is no big deal once you've done it at least once.
fieryice 0
Awww, you know what, i think that's sweet!!!!
bexox 0
#103 made me laugh... sry but it did Just don't obsess over sex, and you'll be fine... OP - maybe put yourself out there and date more!!!
bosco_kk 0
The right girl will come, but she won't fall from heaven. And don't get hookers, seriously, is worse losing you v card to a hooker than being a virgin forever. At least if you die a virgin you'll have some kind of dignity.
MrZach 0
No matter what anyone says. You are most definitely missing out. Stop being a shy little 5 year old, or work on you're appearance. If you're not gross licking then there is something wrong with you. I'm only 20, and at least 5-6 of the girls i laid approached me first. So do something about it.
DarMARINEren 0
#5 patience isn't a virtue when it comes to sex!
wert_fml 7
#23 clearly either just got laid or laid often enough @OP As a older virgin myself I'm rooting for you, I feel your unclimatic pain.