Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
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Top comments
Onyxdragon 9
That's a new one, you get a gold sticker.
llamarrama01 21
People who do things like that can go....**** themselves
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Comments (134)
blackonblight 33
Eh. Heard worse. Heard about the idiots who shoplifted the vibrators from Spencer's and batteries from FYE, apparently this was such a common thing that the former Spencer's employee just waited for the call from FYE about the stolen mech since loss prevention was "let them take it" But yeah. At least OP can replace the batteries out of pocket after payday.
Isa_fml 20
Buy a rechargeable vibe when you can afford one (I like Lelo... they're gorgeous, but there are other higher end brands that are also really nice to look at). They're pricey, but in the long run you'll save plenty of money on batteries 'cause you can just plug 'em in. :) I hope your financial woes go away soon. Take care!
Sugar_ray17 3
Its funny that parents who drop off there kids to these places dont know how sick the employees are. Disgusting.
shepp626 11
Sorry, but masturbation is normal and healthy. Everyone does it, there's no way to keep kids away from "disgusting" masturbators.
TheyCallMeDamien 18
Please don't take them back.
uzee 29
So you drain them fast, huh?
raichu23154 10
get one with a plug lol
Sugar_ray17 3
oh really #90? So lack of self control of ones sexuality allows for someone to sink to new lows as in stealing batteries out of a childs toy? You're probably one of those sick ***** too
teamnikster 9
You people who are calling her disgusting are being assholes. A normal mother with a vibrator doesn't get reprimanded, but she does? Really? Plus, these toys aren't owned by the kids, they're the daycare's! AND! You people act like she friggin' destroyed the sanctity of the toy or something. CALM the hell DOWN.
hotrodharly4 11
you destroyed the kids pleasure to play so you had the pleasure to play with yourself.
LetMeSleepPlease 23
Invest in rechargeable batteries and a charger, dear. Or better yet, one of the Jopen vibes with a base to recharge it. It'll save yourself from doing extremely questionable things like this.