Today, I took my girlfriend for what I thought would be a romantic horse-drawn carriage ride. We didn't expect the horse to die in the middle of it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went all out for a date with the girl of my dreams. I planned a romantic horse ride along a ridge down to a scenic valley for a picnic at sunset. Turns out she’s absolutely terrified of horses, and heights make her queasy. We ended up at the only restaurant nearby, McDonald’s. FML
Today, in the middle of a hot air balloon ride with my girlfriend, I asked her to marry me. She said no. The rest of the ride was the most awkward two hours of my life. FML
Today, I saw the girl that I've had a crush on forever riding her horse on the side of the road. She waved, and without thinking, I honked my horn in response. Her horse bucked her off. FML
Today, my first date in years cancelled on me because she has to "wash the horse's hair." The date was arranged for 9:30pm. FML
Today, I went horseback riding with this guy I like. I asked him to help me get on the horse. I slipped, and while trying to keep my balance, I kicked him in the face. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were driving around town in his car. To my surprise he took me out to lunch. As we were leaving, a girl walks up and asks if he had room for one more for a ride, sadly he only has two seats in his car. Guess who had to walk! FML
Today, I watched my fiancé ride off on my motorcycle with another girl. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride in a paddle-boat. He decided it would be fun to paddle near the fountain. The fountain decided it would be fun to shower me, him and all of our things in filthy, stinking duck water. I had to ride the bus home by myself. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
feven 32
It's a sign.
azelk 8
Forget about your life, F that horses life!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (169)
feven 32
It's a sign.
Diarrhea_Volcano 29
It's horseshit is what it is.
Soviet_American 29
That's FOAL of crap, sorry to hear OP.
kinky44 28
What a coltastrophe!
ELoni_fml 25
Maybe it's not a sign. My god OP, how much do you weigh?!
Googolman 29
52 - It was a horse drawn CARRIAGE ride. Not horse-back riding.
Hummmph 8
Probably as much as your horse teeth do. Jerk.
Hummmph 8
Probably as much as your horse teeth do. Jerk.
incoherentrmblr 22
This horse is no more! It has ceased to be!...
gantoman 13
#85 We kind of established that already.
DBKT 25
I love the parrot sketch :)
SauronsCataract 15
Here in Poland, in the mountains, horses die quite regularly because they are forced to draw carriages overloaded with tourists. So yes, it is possible to kill a horse if the carriage is too heavy.
subduedbeast 14
Well I weigh about 206 and she only weighs about 130 so I don't think we were too heavy
Goblin182 27
#85, I got the Monty Python reference.
CoolCookie210 22
Not saying you should take this as a bad omen or anything, but you should take this as a bad omen.
ahippienamedrae 10
Aww that sucks, for you guys and the horse ):
sayyestothedress 24
That took me by surprise! When u was reading I thought it would be like a horse shat on his girlfriend or something similar, but I did not expect them to die! This needs a follow-up!
CrAzYELF4 26
#42 You need a grammar lesson.
littlekellilee 45
What would the follow up be? Funeral details for the horse?
whos_ur_daddy1 19
Hopefully the relationship is more stable then the horse
Hiktmae 20
I LOVE your icon pic!
abdullahcakeman 13
Horses sometimes pleasure me sexually
devildog562 33
^ ignorant or stupid pick one Edit : do I detect a moderator ?
abdullahcakeman 13
@9 lel
devildog562 33
Time to stable this date.
Seabiscuit218 12
HAY man, this was a BARN enough pun to make me say NEIGH never again
Sophosaurusrex 9
Alright #22, Don't flog a dead horse, ya failed dude.
devildog562 33
Hay 30 don't ride sea biscuit so hard. Foal attitudes never prevail. Edit oh damn his username is sea biscuit . I literally chuckled out loud.
Sonata90 26
Lol... Punny.
Seabiscuit218 12
I'm ashamed of what I've done but the replies were great xD
azelk 8
Forget about your life, F that horses life!
abdullahcakeman 13
I **** dead horses
gatorclay97 28
#18 ...Uhh... I'm sorta scared...
ItsKennyBaby 9
Or lack there of
thatoneninjadude 14
Life's a bitch and then a horse dies.
harrison99 4
I hope you guys still had fun up until that moment! Sorry about the whole situation.
negb 30
Hey at least it's an interesting date...?
subduedbeast 14
It did make a cool story
ArgentumAurum 24
That is definitely not how i expected that sentence to end....
junkman6 22
I was expecting it to end with a romantic horse BBQ.
MrsPegg 45
64: What is wrong with you?!
laden_swallow09 35
He's hungry is what's wrong!
1947Chevy 17
83 horse is actually a delicacy in many countries. I an not beyond the idea of trying it once just to see how it tastes. In this situation I would pass though
ScottVining 21
How romantic
j_cat187 20
How long will it take for someone to use 'beating a dead horse' puns?
friendzonefml 11
your love was just to strong