Today, I hit a new low point in my life when I stole batteries from a toy at the daycare I work at, and put them in my vibrator. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML
Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML
Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML
Today, while I was at my job as senior care, I was in a client's home vacuuming the carpet and found a very used vibrator that belonged to his wife. It wasn't clean. FML
Today, while working in a dark nightclub, I dropped a red charger. Retracing my steps, I found it, or so I thought until I picked up a used tampon. FML
Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML
Today, I ran out of underwear and so I went into my mom's drawer to borrow a pair from her. It was then that I found out my mom uses the same vibrator as I do. FML
Today, I bought my first ever vibrator after months of wanting one. Apparently, I bought a cheap product, because it broke and started going off by itself later. It shook my whole dresser while my best friend and I were in the room. I couldn't get it to shut off. FML
Today, my mother was cleaning out my underwear drawer and found my vibrator. Everytime I see her in the hall, she just cracks up and makes jokes about how I can't get a guy, so I have to rely on electronics. What's worse, she told my dad AND posted a status on facebook about it. FML
Today, I bought my first vibrator. I was really excited, until my crippling OCD kicked in, forcing me to turn it on and off seven times in rapid succession, causing it to give off a cracking sound and stop working. Now I'm sad. FML
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Top comments
Onyxdragon 9
That's a new one, you get a gold sticker.
llamarrama01 21
People who do things like that can go....**** themselves
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Comments (134)
Magnic 6
"Your life sucks". That was the first thought that came to my mind after i read your fml. You are the first one to made me thing that here.
Aussie75 10
I pray you washed those batteries...that shit can cause Toxic Shock.
syed121417 22
I don't think you understand the FML. OP put the batteries in their vibrator, they didn't ********** with the batteries so why would you try to wash them? And vibrators aren't really known for giving you TSS
micka13_123 7
HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! Speechless hahahah
yummi26 9
I see nothing wrong! #seemslegit
wideeyes 10
Buzz Lightyear to the rescue, am I right?
kmn483 5
I just did the same from Target the other day. Watch batteries are expensive!
InsanityShard 23
Accidentally hit FYL. Screw you.